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Post Session 5 – Decisions: Our Framework
Note to Facilitator:
Review entire presentation
When you see an * you are required to facilitate discussion or group interaction.
Slides with an * require manual slide advancing (clicking).
Have your Post workbook handy.
Brian and Lucy
Opening Prayer: Almighty God,
We would like to thank you once more for your encouragement and support as we assemble here for this Post session. We’ve been working hard to rebuild our marriages. We know that it won’t just happen. We promise to stay committed to the project. We believe that you have faith in us and we will continue the process toward healing. Although we may fear falling back into our old ways, we are convinced that with your help, we can improve our relationships. Amen
Post 3 and 4 Review
* Are there any questions on the last Session, on Dialogue or any of the homework assignments?
Family of Origin affects how we make decisions.
Expectations affect how we make decisions.
We build our marriage every day
DECISION TO COMMIT
“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect, George … I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was that promise that made the marriage. And when the children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise.”
Decision to Commit
“Because you are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with heartfelt mercy, with kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.
Over all these virtues put on love, which binds the rest together and makes them perfect.
Christ’s peace must reign in your hearts, since as members of the one body you have been called to that peace. Dedicate yourselves to thankfulness.
Let the word of Christ, rich as it is, dwell in you.
In wisdom made perfect, instruct and admonish one another.
Sing gratefully to God from your hearts in psalms, hymns, and inspired songs.
Whatever you do, whether in speech or in action, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus.
Give thanks to God the Father through him.” Col 3:12-17
Commitment influences our lives.
Commitment effects how we love, cherish, and honor our spouse.
Commitment is a decision.
* Commitment exercise page 66
Reasons to be committed to our marriage:
* What do I struggle with in my decision to commit?
* What can I do to move beyond the struggle?
LOVE IS A DECISION
Feelings come and go
A decision to accept physical abuse is not a decision to love.
Love is not a feeling
Love is a verb
“What can I do for you?”
* Day to day examples of how you make the decision to love your spouse despite how you may feel at the time.
Deciding to love despite our feelings.
How am I making a decision to love you in our relationship?
HDIFAT? (how do I feel about that?)
* Dialogue Question:
* Verbal Sharing
Page 70 in Workbook
Page 67-Read “Love is a Decision”
Page 68-Read & Dialogue “Loving & Forgiving”
Page 151-Personal Plan of Action-”Blueprint”
Page 35- Suggested Changes
*Dialogue Questions on Page 70
Thank you Lord, for giving us this opportunity to understand our responsibility for making decisions that affect us. We have a lot to think about. We know that you will provide us with the understanding necessary to recognize how our decisions affect family, our friends and us. Thank you for helping us as we continue the journey toward healing. Amen.
Next Post Session – Post Session 6
Decisions Our Framework (Cont.)
Forgiveness and Trust
If you are having difficulty with conflict management or dialogue, please contact a member of the team. mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was that promise that made the marriage. And when the children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise.”