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Joanoah Copyright 2016
Trademark 2016….. MMM PRESENTS (Mass-Multi-Media) productions LLC...... in association with MMM (Multi-Media-Minute) publishing LLC.... THE JOURNEY.... An up to the minute live streaming service of authors, musicians, and all artists, from around the world; delivering Mass-Multi-Media to tablets, telephones, or any other mobile devices. A global live consumer interaction experience, like never seen or heard before Trademark 2016..........app available 2017
James 1:20 “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Hello everybody, hope all is well, as I am digging into these scenes and build up these amazing characters. ACT l: THE JOURNEY, may become more and more dark and gloomy, definitely more adult oriented, ACT ll: THE AWAKENING is headed in the opposite direction and gradually becoming more and more positive and enlightening:) Copyright 2016
Before we begin our story, I would like to start with a riddle I came up with, not to long ago. If you can figure it out, I am certain one may overcome their fears, and embracing this precious enlightening message......."Why would you want to hurt me, when I can make you WANT to love me:)............. funny how most people always looks at the "make me" first,..... Like you ain't gonna make me do s**t, well maybe ... just maybe, they should look at the WANT and that you will "want" to do things, rather than being forced to. Well, my friends, Joao is in the "want" phase and is about to show his friends and family alike, the possible blueprint to achieve the "want" phase or at least try our best intentions to relinquish that devilish "make me" attitude, too many possess. All are welcomed to take part in Joao's world, where peace and love is highly appreciated and therefore, possibly attainable.
The Journey takes all story loving readers, into one man's experience through life and his ability to overcome a horrible betrayal of trust at a young, impressionable age. After many attempts to reconcile his grieve and try to put this incident behind him, he finally realizes; (sitting on a beach in the beautiful city of Santa Monica CA) that to save himself, he did not need to save everyone around him, no sir,... all he had to do was take a good, hard, honest, loooong, gaze into that Mirror; that mirror, all must consciously stare, deep, deep into,.. Only hoping one can come out the other side ... a better... positive being. Now most of his Christian friends and family, believe God sent his only son Jesus Christ to planet Earth, (over two thousand years ago), to save all of humanity from four poor vices; (which are present in all early developmental beings), according to Joao, (pronounced Joah), they are Hate, Fear, Greed, and Power. Joao's family all believe, Jesus was sent here to spread one simple, yet powerful message of "turn the other cheek" where Joao interprets as letting the revengeful emotional demons go; like holding a grudge or thinking about getting revenge on somebody who has done harm. They seem to always lead to hate and worse hateful, poor intent. All of these revengeful emotions almost always lead towards fear and one may never enter the Kingdom until one is pure of all four vices. Learning how to forgive another being; No matter who, or what they may have done to you or any other loved one, is difficult in many varying ways. Now, Joao believes most good, honest, Christians, try with their best intent to live up to this challenging message. Well, Joao would like to share a more possibly enlightening perspective on modern, human philosophy. He believes, not only that message, but also another message that Jesus and Buddha, both taught throughout their lives, of a society that believes in social cohesiveness,.... not only each other,.... but also, our most precious young beautiful, planet, and above all else Justice,.... Justice for All. Every last living soul must be willing to uplift each other's lives, which will project nothing but pure joy for all who take part in this advanced human philosophy on eternal living becoming reality. Joao has been given knowledge that either all go to heaven or we all drag each other down that miserable,.... lonely road,.... known as hell. (Created by, hate and fear). Well, Joao, now believes, that ... maybe... Jesus was not sent here two thousand years ago ... but.... maybe ... just ... maybe ... Jesus has always been here in the flesh or mental state or some kind of sixth sense and whose energy flows through only the purest of souls. God’s eternal energy may always be present in non-violent, powerful beings that may have been known as Jesus of Jerusalem, during that time. Well, friends, Joao on one calm, peaceful, most beautiful, august southern California night, has conquered all four difficult, challenging, vices, (greed, power, fear, and possibly the most damaging, hate). He is ready to share this most joyous experience, with all willing to listen ... The late great Martin Luther King Jr. once proclaimed "I have seen and been to that wonderful most glorious mountaintop" well friends Joao is certain he has that blueprint that Mr. King so proudly set out to conquer and not only are all who willingly take part, headed by a path tugging and rapidly pulling all who follow, towards that mountain top, but with the truest of intents, Joao plans on taking all willing participants, on a most glorious adventure and not only are we going to reach that mountaintop,....... friends,.... but,.... We will call that mountain top our HOME!
“Just as a mother would protect her only child with her life, even so let one cultivate a boundless love towards all beings.” Siddhartha Gautama
This narrative takes place on that one, fateful night walking up that mystical powerful ocean, like he's done, night ... after night, for the last 10 months. Joao does a complete turn around and turns a negative situation into a much more positive outcome, for all involved. Joao, on this star, filled clear night, just south
Of Malibu, believes to have become an enlightened being. “I feel like my two greatest influences, Jesus Christ and Siddhartha Gautama, are guiding me every step of the way.” He tells friends. Joao is able to gain unprecedented knowledge through the course of three months, always believing these two loving angels are directing his every move. The best way to describe it, " as if the universe trusts me or they are certain I will never betray them" Joao proclaims to friends and family alike," "after spending these last ten months among the most troubled of our society, They must know I am strong enough and able to accept this coveted, universal challenge to carry that torch and keep spreading that powerful message of, "turn the other cheek" which has been passed down from generation to generation, once they are capable or evolved enough to comprehend. "Joao claims, the more positive energy I project outwards towards friends, family, and even strangers, the more positive energy is projected back onto me and I have slowly realized that this energy is spreading not only through me, but touching anyone I may come in contact with." “As if this powerful force, full of positive energy is radiating off me and onto anyone or anything I touch." "The more troubled the soul, the more joyful energy I receive, even from something as simple as guiding a hungry, down on their luck, homeless person to a hot free meal." Joao communicates to all who wish to listen. Joao was always a troubled soul in many other ways though, mainly created by a lack of trust, from a father figure at a young age. This led Joao to lose his trust in everyone he would meet and eventually even his closest of family and friends. This lack of trust led to heavy alcohol abuse, which only led Joao down a gloomy, dark, and lonely road. After his extended twelve year long, Spring Break, (so to speak), of partying in clubs and bars for most of his teens and twenties, Joao slowly became more and more selfish, disrespectful, vulgar, intensifying when he drank. Over the course of the next couple of hours he sits on that beach and has revisions of key moments in his life, both positive and negative and remembers signs or messages that back then looked like just another screw up in his life, but all of sudden seem to all make sense and over the next few months can turn huge negatives in his life into more positive conclusions, for all parties involved.
Joao's first memory is when he was just three years old, he experienced, one of three fateful encounters, in his life. While playing on his older, Brother Christopher's shoulder's, (they must have grown bored), as they teased their mentally challenged, Aunt Kathy. After about ten minutes, she had just about enough, of their foolish behavior and picked up a large piece of gravel from the dirty, rocky road; where they were playing, she threw it with all her might straight towards Christopher's head. Christopher suddenly reacted, ducking to avoid the rock. Joao ends up taking the impact, right above his left eye, causing him to fall backwards off his brother's shoulder, violently, viciously, slamming the back of his head on a large rock; leading to the concussed mental state. Looking back now, he figures this must have been the first time the angels reached out to him. Joao assumed that since he was just a child, it must have been his innocence that attracted these powerful entities into his unconscious state. These two loving angels take Joao's hand and guide him through the maze of the universes wormholes, enabling Joao to gain unprecedented knowledge and these two loving angels placed their eternal souls into his unconscious state through their eternal energy. When he wakes he does not realize it, but his life would change forever; due to those two angels being able to release all the hateful, fearful demons, present in all intelligent life; (especially early developmental life). Joao, like most children emigrating from other countries had a difficult childhood. His mother Julia, (who was of Irish descent), unexpectedly passed away during childbirth and his father, Anthony Carcetti; not being strong enough and turning to alcohol to resolve most issues in his unfortunate hard life; (back in a 1950's post World War 2 Italy). These were difficult times. Anthony lost his own father to that dreadful war and has always been a confused, angry, bitter man, especially after the death of his beloved Julia... He did the only thing he thought best and was able to get them all to the great young surging superpower of the United States of America. Like many other immigrants of the time he settled into an upcoming middle class neighborhood in a rural, but quickly developing city of Germantown MD. Tony always had a serious drinking problem and could never hold a job longer than two weeks. Turning to the whiskey to drown out his sorrow, Anthony Sr. found it too great a task to care for all six of his children. His kids were eventually all taken into the custody by the county; except the oldest sibling, Anthony Jr., who was sowing his wild oats, (so to speak). The other five kids were dispersed through the county foster care system; except for the two youngest, who remained together from the beginning. Those two younger siblings were none other than his, nine-year-old sister
MOM, DAD, ANYONE?
Joao’s sister, Maryann was the only family member who stayed by his side, consistently throughout his most important years of development. So, the bond became strong for the both of them, but even more so for Joao; who was much too young to remember any semblance of a mother or father. Well, after a few years of both siblings being dispersed time and time again through the frightening foster care system, the only solace Joao ever felt was "well at least they didn't separate us Annie," his nickname for his beloved sister. Joao would often say these words repeatedly as the two of them were being shuffled around from house to house... stranger to stranger. Annie was always protective of her young brother; once even taking the blame for a terrible, but still typical, childish, innocent, playful, behavior. Well, she knew her younger brother would surely take a horrible beating, like many times before; from their angry, hateful, foster parents. Usually from a belt or worse a fist, Hell would break loose, after all Joao ruined a new expensive dining room table; by spinning a top joyfully over it. Well that only grew Joao's trust and affection towards his older sister. He trusted her with his life from a very early age. The oldest sibling, Anthony Jr. who had a generous heart and was finally capable and able (financially)......due to his wise investments in Real Estate and eventually Wall Street, made a fateful decision to accept the challenge of raising his two younger siblings. Joao was ten at the time and Maryann fifteen; in what seemed to be an honest attempt by his older brother, Anthony Jr. to bring the family together. For the first time in his life Joao and Annie felt like they were part of a loving family. Joao was an honor student with straight A's and excelled in math and science, but during his freshman year in high school, he realized a terrible secret his sister had been hiding for years and it shook him to his core. …To be cont.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Betrayal from a trusted loved one at a young age can be detrimental to the emotional wellbeing of any young child and Joao was no exception. Trust maybe our most treasured commodity. It can take a lifetime to achieve, and yet still crumble right before our eyes in less than a heartbeat. As Joao is growing into adulthood he questions trusted friends for activities most teenagers curiously attempt, that would occur throughout Joao's adolescence. The betrayal of his father figure would be forever traumatizing. Over the years, Joao would always notice inappropriate touching or playful tickling by his brother Anthony Jr. with Annie and not having yet reached puberty, thought nothing of it, but what his sister told him one night rocked him to the core and he never looked at Anthony Jr. the same again. Over time, even his beloved relationship with his sister became difficult to trust; almost as if it had been tainted or something and considering Annie became emotionally attached to her older brother Anthony Jr; probably impressionably and possibly even though she may have been in love. (One can only try to guess what a fifteen-year-old troubled girl is thinking.) Joao looked at Jr. with disgust and only felt negative energy slowly illuminating off his brother. He grew, not only to distrust Jr, but slowly losing trust in everyone around him, becoming extremely selfish. Joao at the age of 17 woke up one morning and decided he would not live in that tainted house anymore and he took the 500 dollars he had saved up and packed a suitcase, called his best friend, Jacob and ran away from home to never look back..... To be cont.
"Once we calm down, we will soon understand what's going on,” John Palmeiro
Spring break takes us to a time of youthful expression and pushing what society claims as boundaries, to their absolute limits. From the moment Joao ran away from home, he would find out just how much fun, the naughty things in life can be. From that first spring break trip to Vegas, Joao would experience more than just drinking beers on the weekends with friends. Throughout his life, Joao has always pushed the limits of all things he would enjoy, well drugs were no different. His first taste of marijuana came in that deceitful trip to Las Vegas, with his three best friends. Joao has made many trips to this futuristic city in the desert. As a teenager, he could convince his guardians to grant him permission to go to the Bahamas with some high school friends. Well, Joao, Chris, Carl, and his cousin Mario, were all able to lie to everyone and go to Fabulous Las Vegas for the week instead. This would be the first of many wild, crazy trips over the years; where what transpires in the city of sin, stays in the city of sin. Four very excited 17-year-old off on their own for a week in the city of sin, will definitely lead to some mischief; They could pull together a couple thousand dollars among them and headed on a non-stop flight, out of Dulles international airport. Upon arriving, they were quickly amazed, as they looked out the airplane window, at this magical city in the middle of a desert…. Ring, ding, rattle, ding, is the first thing these four teenagers heard and Joao got the gambling bug almost instantly. Joao feverishly grabbing twenty dollars from his pocket, rips, and tears it down the middle. “Maybe we should wait till we get the room, before you rip all our money up," jokes Mario. As is often in Joao's selfish life, he tells his cousin where to stick it and loses two hundred dollars, just as quickly. "Sh*t, we could've thrown that cash at some girls," Chris angrily remarks! “Don’t worry, we got plenty more where that came from, I'm gonna make it big out here; you will see... you will all see," Joao bullishly remarks. Being their first trip to Vegas, they were quickly hustled, from the moment they sat in that first taxi ride, which took the long way to their hotel, or trying to by some marijuana. These young men were so mesmerized by the bright lights and pretty ladies of the night. That they couldn't keep off their minds. Before you knew it they were penniless and 2 days till their flight back home. Not the greatest trip.
“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule” Siddhartha Gautama
As he outgrew his wild club and bar hopping days: an extended, prolonged, spring break, (... if you will), Joao became more and more secluded. He focused more and more on work as he approached his thirtieth birthday. Instead of clubbing, Joao would now serve those drinks, instead of blowing wads of cash; he saved thousands of dollars in only a couple months’ time. Joao saved just over one hundred thousand dollars from bar tending, during those years and bought himself a nice new 2008 Audi A4. This made him Happy for a couple months, but he eventually just fell back into a heavier and deeper depression. Soon after the financial crash of 2008; the restaurant he worked at, had to close its doors and Joao finds himself with some free time and lots of cash. He would spend cash on girls and booze, which almost always led to gambling thousands upon thousands of dollars, on his many trips to Atlantic City and Vegas. Within a few months Joao, is driving to Atlantic City every weekend and playing high stakes No-Limit Hold them at the Borgata Hotel and Casino. The alcohol always seemed to influence much of this behavior and it took one tragic night driving home on i95 south from a drug filled, alcohol riddled weekend, to force Joao to honestly try to look in that mirror, for the first time in his life: "that same mirror that always stares back at us all and asks," "Do you like what you see?" sometimes we might not like what is staring back at us for the truth is much too hard to bear." Joao thinks out loud in front of that mirror. After blowing through 15 thousand dollars, on a long drawn out Saturday night; playing high stakes, no-limit hold-em at the Borgata Hotel & Casino. He finds himself on tilt; (as they say in poker), after quickly losing four thousand dollars; (being dealt pocket aces), on back-to-back hands, Furious he orders a double and another,... five minutes later "Hey,.... hey honey here's a redbird,' (which is poker slang for a red five dollar chip), "if you bring me the good stuff, (MaCallan 15-year-old single malt scotch whiskey,...... straight up,...... you don't mess with perfection," Joao would always tell the pretty girls when ordering,..... Oh and make sure you make it a DOUBLE!!! Joao demands, boisterously, well losing four thousand dollars, would have been considered a victory, compared to what would happen next. Hand after hand, KK, loser, AK suited ... loSER! QQ ... LOSER, even, the almighty, AA... HA ... gotcha now, sucker ha-ha, 90% favorite going into the river, (poker lingo for last card).......and yet again ... LOSER, LOSER!!! LOSER!!!! During this losing streak, three new players sit down and Joao questions their integrity. “Hey you, yeah you... (Slurring his words) How come every time I have you guys crushed, you and your buddy’s re-raise!! HUH, God Dammit... are you f*ckers cheating me?!!! Belligerently drunk Joao is asked to leave. Not in good shape, after losing over fifteen thousand dollars he stumbles into the casino and blows another thousand on blackjack, in only a New York minutes time. He's finally had enough just around 1:00 a.m. Well, Joao has drunk and drove many times before, so he stubbornly stumbles to his car, thinking, what the hell, I lost sixteen thousand dollars. Joao was so drunk he would pass out and crash his car on the long, always boring drive straight down i95. For the first time in his life, Joao's actions killed a little three-year-old boy, early on a Sunday morning and left his two parents and a baby sister hanging on for dear life. With a blood alcohol level of .28, over three times the legal limit, he wakes up, handcuffed to a hospital bed with 3 broken ribs and a severely damaged left eye. Police officers were waiting right outside his room and informed him he was under arrest for vehicular manslaughter. What, what are you saying... Joao mumbled under his breath, as he was in and out of consciousness. Joao had lucid dreams during the next few hours (Dream Sequence)... and dreams of pushing on the brakes so hard and nothing happening, harder and harder... nothing... pumping so hard his leg twitches and spasms. These dreams included visions of darkness in a foggy laden country road, where every time Joao tried pumping his brakes the car would only speed up faster and faster when finally it would lose control around a curve and then flip over and over.... again and again..... These dreams take him in and out of consciousness, sometimes he's in an open field full of green grass, wild orchids, blossoming tulips and fragile dandelions that slowly break apart by the cool breeze from the ocean nearby. He sees those two angels again, floating through the field, as he is facing the clear blue sky, he passes his fingers, gently touching the dandelions, floating on his back, arms stretched outwards,.... almost,.. Almost.... as if gravity never existed ... peace, Quiet, peace ... calm, calm... quiet ... peace,... out of nowhere;... the screeching from the tires as he's pumping the brakes, pushing, pounding the floorboard,....... WHY WON'T YOU
STOP!!, why won't you stop, he yells at the top of his lungs again and again… teeth grinding (feeling as if their crumbling apart).... darkness,.... secluded country road,.... tires screeching, before the inevitable flips, again, and again. With a fever of 104-106, Joao is pronounced dead two to three times, in what seems like a long ten minutes. Slowly peeking through the bright lights, he grabs his head, As Joao wakes from his long, surreal deep sleep, he slowly and painfully, tries opening his one good eye and at first he thinks those bright lights are from the headlights from the car and he's landed several feet away..... but as he tries to lift his arms, one fractured in multiple places, the other handcuffed to the cold hard steel rod on his bedside, he quickly realizes those lights are from the bright hospital room. He remembers bits and pieces from what he believes to be the night before, but is actually 2 weeks later; as Joao has been in a Dr. induced coma; (due to his internal bleeding and multiple head wounds). After a few months of rehabilitation Joao is released from the hospital and now a date with twelve jurors of his peers. His cousin, Mario puts a second mortgage on his own home to get Joao out on ten thousand dollars bail and the trial of Joao's life is set for May 20th 2014. The Jurors were not kind to Joao on that day of reckoning. Being his first felony conviction, the judge sentenced him to twenty months in the county correctional facility. He would be released from jail. You would think, such a tragedy and staring into that mirror would have been enough, but no Joao, apparently wasn't being one hundred percent in his attempt and that is what it takes for these powerful entities to reach us, in this dimension. After spending those long grueling ten months behind bars, Joao only slips deeper and deeper into a full blown, self-inflicted, severe, depression; ... which is slowly transforming his soul from ... Angels, to, ...... demons. Early on a cold December morning, one week before Christmas, 2014, Joao was picked up outside seven locks correctional facility by his long time trusted friend and cousin, Mario. He quickly fell right back into his old bad habits of binge drinking, which always led to reckless, late night gambling. Mario owned his own small construction business and would use Joao from time to time, but being the middle of February, work was slow or to cold. Eventually, over two weeks, Joao would always save just enough for those three buy-ins (900 dollars) that Joao always believes will be enough to get over this hump of a horrible two year run of bad luck. Well, like many, many times before, Joao goes through the rest of his money and ended up running up his credit cards into the tens of thousands of dollars. It would get so bad he would fill his gasoline tank up when he would only have exactly ten dollars on his many Visas and MasterCard’s; that way he could get the full sixty dollars it took to fill his tank. He was in desperation mode by the beginning of summer 2015. Being stressed out from getting himself so deep in debt, He could barely get an hour of sleep tossing and turning, night.... after night, ... day ... after day, staring up at a spot on the wall for hours during the day and staring up at a blue reflective light illuminating off his Sonic breeze air purifier at night, ... and eventually, ... day or night, ... staring into the darkness that is slowly creeping, gaining momentum and allowing bad, evil entities, (one might call demons) into his soul. Suicide would come across his mind, as he stared into the abyss daily, sometimes thoughts would creep into Joao's mind on the hour, minute, and even seconds, on those days Joao becomes suicidal, with very poor intent, thinks maybe the best way to punish his brother is to take his own life that way the blood of two siblings would be on Anthony Jr.'s hands. Maybe then, his brother could see or have a hint of understanding, just how much damage he had caused to these young people's lives, those many, many years ago. These thoughts of suicide would plague Joao on and off through the years, definitely gaining momentum, since his sister's passing back in 2004. He starts googling the most efficient and painless ways to commit suicide and finds; by train 98.8% effective, shotgun to the brain, 98.3%, overdosing on pills, varying wildly between 40.3%-72.6%. How getting hit by a train, wouldn't end in certain 100% death, boggles the mind and Joao becomes more and more concerned of a failed attempt and suffering even greater physical and emotional pain. Joao is always concerned about the suffering he will leave behind for his loved ones, so he contemplates making it look like an accident by swimming far, far out into that great, big powerful Pacific Ocean or maybe even taking the subway down to Compton and pulling out his knife, trying to instigate a fight or possibly a death by cop situation. The more he contemplates suicide, the more he realizes maybe it’s such an unforgivable act that if one should ever do, maybe the only justifiably way is that if one doesn't enjoy this wonderful gift, we all call life, then one should suffer the most terrifying, painful, torturous way of dying; ... like a sacrifice for all the pain humanity must suffer, for all sins committed. The Gods may gain your respect if you sacrifice yourself by painfully burning alive. (Many cultures throughout history have called such a sacrifice “burning at the stake” as a way to ask the Gods for forgiveness), with no drugs or alcohol, for that would be cheating. Joao contemplates every last detail. He nervously slouches over, picks up the 2 gallon tank of unleaded gasoline. Thinking out loud, " If this is the only way that the gods will forgive,.... then so be it," Sober as a stone, he lifts the 2 gallon tank above his head, feeling as if a soft, gentle wave is splashing on him, quickly smelling the nauseating fumes, flowing across his nostrils. Without wiping his eyes, Joao just continues pouring,.... splashing, it gushes down his face, slowly turning from a flowing river to a slow drip,... drop,... drip,.... drip,... as it begins to slowly pour down his forehead, drip, drip, passing over his eyelids, drop,.... drop,.... off his nose,... fumes burning his thin mustache,... slowly streaming down his face, past his upper lip, as he rattles the tank to get every last oz., drip, .... Drip ... sticking his tongue out,… making sure it fills his insides, (hoping to destroy those evil demons once and for all) Drip, drop ... drip, drip... is about all that Joao will hear as he reaches for his two dollar red Bic disposable lighter. “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, WILL THIS PROVE TO YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL JUST HOW MUCH SUFFERING AND PAIN I FEEL?" Joao screams at the top of his lungs, out towards the pitch black night. Fearless, until the final moment of truth, when a shaking, quivering, white as a ghost, Joao drops to his knees a second time, terrified of the thought of what lies on the other side of that mirror...to be cont.
Matthew 5:22 “Everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, „You fool! ‟ will be liable to the hell of fire.”
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels
Or demons, heaven or hell.” Siddhartha Gautama
“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
Mirror takes us deep into the thoughts of a troubled man, who is falling deeper and deeper into a self-inflicted severe depression, which only gets worse after his sister, horrifically commits suicide, ...... one very, .... very, sad ...sad night. MARYANN JULIA CARCETTI was pronounced dead at 10:10 p.m. (eastern standard time,) June, 13th 2004, At precisely 10:09:51 ...for the last time, she reached over her oval ...glass, coffee table, grabbed that .45 pistol, ......placing that damn, ....cold , ....steel plated .45, in her mouth, pointed upwards. 9 SECONDS later, a horrific ending, to a beautiful woman's life. 9 SECONDS ... She had three chances to change her mind, .........9 SECONDS that probably felt like an eternity to her; ……...9 SECONDS, she could of thought about the horrific suffering, about to be imposed on her grieving loved ones,...... ……6 SECONDS, she could of felt that THUNDEROUS voice from the heavens, demanding her to STOP!!! ...3 SECONDS... she could've turned that nasty, nasty,
... taste of that emotionless, cold piece of steel, ...far, ...far, ...away, ...from her clenched jaw, (surely grinding on that .45 she had bought years earlier, ...(telling Joao years earlier, she had purchased it to protect her from Anthony Jr, who she grew to fear more and more over the years), .1 SECOND,. .1 SECOND,... then, ........ nothing,..... nothing. As she transverses back to her multidimensional reality, one stuck in the material world, going through this great pain and suffering. The other forced to watch through the other side of the mirror ... the tragedy unfold ... over ... and over ... for only god knows how many ...years... centuries, possibly millennial... her poor eternal soul has been suffering. This has always been her punishment... now she may finally have a chance of reaching one of her siblings and sending a message of “HELP ME, PLEASE HELP!!!” Ironic, how that colt .45 she purchased years earlier... for protection,... would one day end her life,... and start this eternal torture again,... and again. Attempting his best to keep going, Joao tries to focus more and more on work and making money ... Lots and lots ... of money. "I got my money on my mind and my mind on my money," Joao would jokingly tell friends. One early Monday morning he made his first and only attempt at suicide and parked his car near Mario's home, pulled out his telephone and wrote a suicide note through text. Joao planned on walking down the railroad tracks, (that were behind Mario's house) at three in the morning, after drinking beers and his favorite whiskey, Jameson. Severely depressed and strung out by three A.M. he closes his car doors with the keys in the driver's seat, never planning on returning. As he got closer and closer to the tracks, his heart pounding, feet getting heavier, and heavier,... every single slow long step of the way. He's about halfway to the turn and he feels the sudden gentle vibration, building more and more, he walks slower and slower, heart pounding against his chest, sweat dripping down his forehead. The tracks are rumbling now, the roar of this behemoth, getting louder and louder. His body shakes from the rattling. As he's waiting with eyes shut, rumbling getting louder and louder Joao swears he hears a force from the heavens, In a commanding and scolding, stern voice, shout, “YOU BETTER NOT ... YOU BETTER NOT," It feels as if a stern, huge finger is pointing down on him, absolutely shaken to the core, terrified like he's never been, Joao, jumps off the tracks; (just as the one hundred ton behemoth viciously roars past him). Shaking his head he drops to his knees, screaming up at the heavens, why must you make it so hard he screams at the top of his lungs, please; please just make the pain go away he cries. As his bankroll shrinks down farther and farther, month after month, finally below ten thousand dollars, Joao, uses the rest of his money to play higher stakes, (not a good decision,... at all,..) and he ends up getting evicted within a month and Mario, lets him sleep on his couch for a couple months. Joao eventually knows the inevitable is coming and decides Washington D.C. is not a good place to sleep outside, plus he would feel ashamed if people he knew saw him like that. Now, Joao knows he could always ask his rich, generous, millionaire brother for help with money and even possibly a job. I mean his brother is a very successful real estate agent running his own 50 man real estate co. Joao knows in his heart,.... to accept anything from Jr, without confession, would be like condoning those horrible acts and would prefer homelessness,.... The next couple weeks are very difficult, he feels like he's intruding and doesn't want to outstay his welcome with Mario, so with only his car to his name and 2,500.00. Joao drives cross country, hitting all the poker rooms on the way to Vegas and give it one more shot at the big time. He does well in Ohio and Denver and arrives in Las Vegas with a nice bankroll. Well, the alcohol always ends up getting the better of him and he loses his fifteen thousand he had built up over the trip. With just 60 dollars to his name he spends half on a mega bus ticket to that wonderful City of Angels.
'He insulted me, he cheated me, he beat me, he robbed me' -- only those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace,” Siddhartha Gautama
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Buddha
ACT ll: THE AWAKENING available nowone stuck in the material world, going through this great pain and suffering. The other forced to watch through the other side of the mirror ... the tragedy unfold ... over ... and over ... for only god knows how many ...years... centuries, possibly millennial... her poor eternal soul has been suffering. T