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Submission of applications for residency required; this document contains the responses given by the Writing Center.
USD Online Writing Center D2L Information & Response Form
INSTRUCTIONS: Submit your writing and this form in the Online Writing Center dropbox at least three days before you need a response. Read carefully below.
Use the tab key to move through the form and fill in answers.
Save the form as a new file with your last name in the file name (example: hansonD2Linfoform). Make sure you’ve filled in the form completely, including the writer’s questions near the end.
Submit the piece of writing for which you want feedback and this completed D2L information form in the Online Writing Center Dropbox in D2L. You can also submit related files such as assignment sheets and rubrics.
Then, log into D2L and check the Online Writing Center Dropbox again for feedback (look for an uploaded response form, with answers to your questions). If you don't see feedback posted after 48 hours, email the Writing Center at email@example.com or call 605-677-5626.
After reading the feedback, write 2-4 sentences in which you discuss what you learned and what you will do next to revise this piece. Email the paragraph in regular email (not D2L) to firstname.lastname@example.org (this step is required if you want us to email an instructor to verify that you submitted writing and read the feedback in the Online Writing Center.)
A. General Information:
Your first and last name: Timothy Furness
Your University of South Dakota email address (not D2L): email@example.com
B. Assignment Information:
Does your instructor need to be notified about this Writing Center session? Yes* No
*If you checked Yes: See note above under step “After reading the feedback.”
Your USD instructor’s name: Chelle Kirkpatrick Your instructor's email address (not D2L): firstname.lastname@example.org
University of South Dakota course (include title, discipline and course number, such as Composition I, ENGL 101): Residency Application When is this assignment due? Apr. 1st, 2016
Assignment Description: Copy and paste the text from your instructor's assignment sheet in the space below. (Alternatively, you may submit the assignment sheet as a separate document.)
I'll have the other files attached via email.
If you are unable to copy and paste (or attach) the assignment, provide the following information:
What, specifically, is your assignment asking you to analyze, argue, or discuss? In other words, describe the assignment in as much detail as possible: Residency application paperwork - A résumé and answering some questions that are on the forms.
What is the required length (words/pages)? n/a
Citation Style (MLA/APA/Chicago/something else)? n/a
C. Your Questions (and Consultant’s Responses):
Please list, in question format, one to three writing areas--NOT grammar skills--upon which you would like your consultant to focus. Examples: Have I provided enough support for my points? How can I make my thesis statement less vague? Where do I need to add transitions?
Writer’s question: Have I provided enough or too much support for my points?
Consultant’s response: Hi, Timothy! My name is Joey, and I'll be your writing consultant for the day. When it comes to your cover letter to start off, your phrasing and organization throughout are extremely well done. I don’t see any major issues at the sentence level. Again, good work with all that! As such, let's focus on what kind of support you can still provide. When it comes to your work here, how detailed are you essentially allowed to get? When I look at cover letters, I look for specific examples that highlight the qualities you want to focus on. For your first and second body paragraphs, you talk about challenging yourself and being a leader, but there isn't any information on some of the finer details of these points. How have you overcome inetellectual challenges so far? What was an experience that highlights your leadership skills? The one problem with this feedback is that I just don't know whether you are allowed any extra room to explain more. That's on you to figure out with the School of Education. Otherwise, there's nothing else that would be worth adding from what I can tell. Especially if you have followed whatever template or guide you were given for this, you should be good to go!
When it comes to your Sioux Falls application, I certainly see how you are using specific examples to make your points here. Nice job! I still think doing this in the cover letter will help as well, especially if you have many different examples. The more they know about exactly what you can do, the better. Also, the more concrete you are with your answers, the more individualistic you're going to sound (which will separate you from the field nicely). If there are any answers where you feel like you have a very big picture approach, it might be worth adding some more detailed points. Here's an example from question 5: "I believe that the foundation of my planning will be derived from the experience that I’ve gained in creating lessons for various courses at University of South Dakota as well as my paraprofessional and internship experiences." What does that all look like? Won't everyone be doing that in some way? Here's another example from question 8: "A strong benefit of the technological options available to educators is the ability to effectively store all information gathered with relative ease." So you're going to keep all data to review and use to plan instruction? That doesn't sound reasonable to me. Be careful of broad answers.
When it comes to smaller points, be careful of using too many longer sentences. It's great to vary sentence length to keep readers interested, but the longer sentences get, the easier is to make them too complicated. For question 2, you say, "I look forward to this challenge, and believe that keeping in mind Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences – whether it’s correct about learning or not aside – and making differentiation within the classroom a philosophy and a practice from the moment class begins." I feel like there's a verb missing from the second half of this sentence, and I'm not sure what it should be. Again, just be careful; I only have time for one example.
One more minor point: in question 1, you say, "An effective teacher is, of course, one that knows their content to a reasonable point, but more importantly, maintains the modesty and curiosity required to learn, grow, and adapt within their classroom and content knowledge each and every day." A teacher is one that knows his or her content, not "their." Until someone tells me not to, I would recommend changing the pronoun since you're talking about only one teacher.
Writer’s question: Does the résumé contain the information it should? It's based upon a template provided by the school district.
Consultant’s response: Going off parts of my previous feedback, that template is all you really needed to put together this resume correctly. I'll try not to conflict with what the template suggests, so if I do, go back to the template instead. When it comes to content, I don't see anywhere that would require more information. I have to imagine there wouldn't be any place for it anyway. There are some small questions I have about your content right now is all.
Firstly, with your awards from Best Buy, is another way where you can format that perhaps so it doesn't stretch across the whole page? I'm not a fan of how the city and date are structured around all of that information right now. It would be nicer if everything in that section matched in terms of formatting, even though that might be a lot to ask. Just something I wanted to note.
For this resume template, will it be okay for your Leadership section to repeat information from your Work Experience section? For me, I feel like it would be nice to be able to include as much different information that will help you out as possible. Just depends on how the template was set up to start with. Something to think about though, especially in regards to your final question here.
Finally, how many references do you need? Five seems like a lot, but I'm not familiar with the requirements for the education field. Again, for me it's an issue of how you use space. If you have more to say about your experience, then that's a section that may be worth shrinking by one or two people. If you need them all though, please just keep them all there.
Writer’s question: While most students have relatively little overall work experience, I have worked at nine different companies and several locations and positions since 2002. Should I be listing all of those work experiences or just the most current?
Consultant’s response: Depends on two things: will the School of Education be okay with it and will it help showcase skills that you haven't been able to address elsewhere? Two pages is usually the limit when it comes to resumes. The fact that you can fill up even more pages than that is rare from what I've seen, to say the least. So firstly, will adding more positions even be allowed for you? Seems like you're at your limit for this resume otherwise. Secondly, how do these other positions vary from the ones you have listed already? If the positions are very similar to each other, then having more of them probably won't help you any. You'll know much better than I how useful they might be. Odds are people looking at the resume are only going to want to hear what you've done recently anyway though.
Additional feedback from consultant: This is for sure some of the best work I've seen for the School of Education. Really good job overall! Good luck with your revisions, and have a great day!
WRITER, STOP! Have you filled out this form completely? Then, post your writing and this form in the Online Writing Center dropbox in D2L. Contact the Writing Center at email@example.com if you need help.
USD Online Writing Center D2L Info & Response Form 1ory of Multiple Intelligences – whether it’s correct about learning or not aside – and making differentiation within the classroom a philosophy and a practice from the moment class begins." I feel like there's a verb missing from the second half of this sentence, and I'm not sure what it should be. Again, just be careful; I only have time for one example.
Finally, how many references do you need? Five seems like a lot, but I'm not familiar with the requirements for the education field.