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20-5-17 Dear Gay Hope y're as good as ever. Dont know what that really means. It's impossible for you to be as bad as ever. At all. Remember the time when you and I were in Norfolk Island and you fell offa the end of the wharf? You were trying to rescue a big fat blue cod which had fallen from his hook as you hauled him in, onto the pile at the wharf's end so's you could eat him. You were shrieking fit to wake the dead trying to talk fat cod into your bucket. Instead,,,KERSPLASH! In you go, with cod bouncing hiself back into the wet in sympathy with you and with me now taken over the shrieking role. What's the difference twixt laughing and shrieking? When the shrieks come from below your pretty throat it is enough to send me into raptures of uncontrollable choking. Choke in my throat, and below. You ever had that? It was in your pre-Roy days so your language was limited to what that perfect gentleman your Da had taught you thinking you were not listening. There had to be a rescue , with you hauled dripping and dripping great gushes all over the cracked up end of the wharf, no cod. Shriek blinking from every lycra soaked curve and wobbbble, two fleshy knobs just crying out for,,, something. And you knew I were watching! Also commanding memory is the time you flew off to Sorento because the sunshine count there reminded you of the same count at home. Who should you bump into, sitting in the airport lounge, looking lost, was ME! Dont know what I was doing there, but what the heck, to see you is good enough excuse or any. I have made up mind that I would not use the soft soaping words and phrases that you have made my mind up about – they are too insincere and plausible. So I just said “Hi...” as if we were ships who could talk but were passing in the night. And there goes that “shriek” again. There be two types of 'shriek', - the one is shriek of delight that I am always looking for,, - “s.o.d” for short, - and t'other is shriek of disaster,, - also s.o.d for short. With all that italian influence in the airport my s.o.d came out as; ♫ ♫ - you gotta pretend I am Dino Martin gazing lustfully at Marylin; “When the stars seem to shine like a you've had too much wine; sod sod, “That's ♫ Amore! “When you look to the sky like a a big pizza pie “Yer in lerve, more sods, (your choice) “When you walk in a dream but y' know y'r not dreaming sorennntii, “Scoosa me, but you see, back in sorentii , its, Amorayy, Amore, Amore!”” So if those Italian arabs can get away with it so can I. Pull the other one Pad. So my dear - how come you can get away with addressing me that way but I get further away from you by calling out the same way? (if you were drunk like me that would be what you might call a slob's sod. Ha ha ) That's a lie actually. You always used it, covered your goodbye with multiple fat XXXX's, in the days when we were communicating. O boy those kisses ! I wish there were some way for you to experience them. Might be a tad awkward. Until Sorentinian turned up you were using those words. I used to go to the end of your messages before reading them in order to see how many kisses I got. Or maybe it was when I fessed up about the dratted priests that you decided agin me. If you have. Maybe it's just the way of things. Maybe it were just too early after the passing of Roy, and of so long filled with so much hard work. l'll start agin. Dearest Gay, I see it's birfday time coming up. If you like I'll get a bottle of superior salad oil, re-label it as “Coopers Drench” for the sake of Aussie Customs, and send it off to Mulgoa Av. With instructions for the occupier to send it back to me so I can have it with my lettuce. That way it would do for a pressy for you, and one for me! Wouldst you be available to accompany me to the pictures this coming saturday night? We could prime ourselves good-oh on Coopers Drench before hand. There is good flik showing starring the Tina Cleary directed; A bird in the hand with her bro in lead role. I'm not even sure Mudgee has a flea pit. The walk home is not too long and I offer to give you a piggy=back if required. Actually,,, it is t'other way round should the truth ever be known. Do snakes walk round in the dark? They wouldnt be sunbathing. Friend Neil Franks had a day here. He is the chap with piggery at Griffith. Price of pork is up. We had a loverly day chewing the fat and all. I have sort of half learned how to cook salmon and it was almost as good as yours, just ,,super loverly garnished with all the silly stories we had of each other. You know what men are like! Would love you to meet him one of these trips. But first I must answer two questions you put to me and I remember not answering because so sensitive. You asked, “..... what's that?” in reply to my wish – at a very tender stage of our lovemaking - that I hoped to “ ...light you up” What's that, sez you.? I dont suppose I really know if I'm honest. But I do know is that it (making love) can be quite overwhelmingly pleasurable for both players if things go right. Plug both of them in, stand clear and watch the lights go on! The other question was; “Do the pills work?” after all your tremendous efforts at getting the blessed things to me. I still cannot answer that because I dont know. Apparently, as it says on all the bulldust with the pills, they only work when there is a lady present. (yet one more way that women are reduced to a subservient role). And they will only work on getting an erection, not at all on the production of sperm or the 'lighting up' capacity, to be blunt about it. (I dislike the words that they use). So the pills languish in my pill-box still in their fancy wrapping. After all the trub you went to. It's a money thing you know Gaely dearest. - the politicians and law-makers keep the price up exorbitantly high - $9 per pill here – because the blokes what profit from them are the same well heeled bureaucrats that bought them for 50 cents. The law limits the amount able to cross the customs border to 3 months worth. Fancy giving the kid behind the counter in customs the power to decide whether you are a once-a-night-man, once-a-month-man, or a blue moon loser like me. I will throw a bloody ink bomb if that happens to me. Please O dearest gal, tell me I aint no loser. T'would only take you ten seconds to tap it out. The rate I were going or coming last time we made love it would have taken me 10 years. Well my dear, (here he goes again) (better to say that than - “Hey, You!). Happy birthday for next month. I'm not sure if my self-imposed regime of writing every month will see me on paper before then if ya get whadeyemean. Most gentle- persons of our gentle age shudder at the thought of getting any sort of paper which can see our age. Dont s'pose I got any chance of being asked to the party? Your busy schedule might just squeeze me in? I think I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it will be a little late by 2020! Jervis sold his house and cant find a place to live. His Di must have sights set too high. He got 1 ¼ M so something's gotta give. Houses are a stupid price. Hull''s Margaret (Maggie) got sodium deficiency night before heading of to Fyjordland for a look around. She was pretty crook apparently, and they didnt go. 95% of the sea is sodium chloride so I suggested she go for a swim to fix her. She is like a fish in the water. Not very ha ha. Mick got 2 M for his house, and Mags recovered. Here's hoping to hear from you. If it's an envelope I wont open it until I've weighed it. If it's a light one I wont open it. If it's a heavy one (weight of kisses) I'll have it checked for your DNA and any Italian influence! Best (as the Yanks say, or leave unsaid) Did I tell you? They asked me over to Texas as I was such a good boy! I love you with everything I have. Blowed if I know how. Love P ps Bumper sticker in the US. Elderly motorist stopped for speeding gave the excuse; Oh, I was just going fast Officer because I had to get to where I was going before I forgot where it was. p 'm not even sure Mudgee has a flea pit. The walk home is not too lon