What email address or phone number would you like to use to sign in to Docs.com?
If you already have an account that you use with Office or other Microsoft services, enter it here.
Or sign in with:
Signing in allows you to download and like content, and it provides the authors analytical data about your interactions with their content.
Embed code for: The Battle of Cloud Peak
Select a size
The Battle of Cloud Peak Reviews: A fast-paced, action-packed story based on “real events”. -The New Lollandian times Me like. -Random Guy on the street with a mustache By: Anson Lu and Carl Zhang Prologue 2 years ago… Melonir Mefol was your average 37 year old melon, having fun in the jungle with his family. His family… The village. Destroyed on a Nazi Zombie’s orders. Burned. Only 1 survivor. Melonir stood in the Cloud valley. Maybe he could leave his old life behind. There were just too much painful memories. My family. No matter what, Melonir could not forget that fateful day on which he heard the Nazi general Erich Manstein give the order to burn down his village. No matter what, Melonir thought, karma always gets the bad people back… he hoped. But his home had been burned down to the ground, and nobody could forget that. Chapter 1 Gardinon City, Melonia 14:07, September 17th, 1997 (Earth eastern standard time) Melonir Mefol woke up to the smell of bacon and tacos cooking downstairs. He picked up the New Lollandian Times off the ground, grabbed his CenaCoffee, and started downstairs. This was it. A new life, where the old could be forgotten. He would get used to it at some point, but wouldn’t forget the horrible memory of his old life. He had to remind himself that every morning to prevent the day from becoming a depression-fest. He sat down at the table and poured himself a cup of water. “How’s it going here Melonir?” said Melonsy, the governor of the province of Melonia. “Mmph” replied Melonir in a mumble. “What’s wrong bud?” asked Melonsy. At that moment Melonir saw something in the news that would change his life. Cloud Peak zen melons were recruiting! Zen melons are basically melon monks that live in temples and shrines in the mountains. When Melonir saw this, he said “No time now, gotta go!” and bolted out the door. He went out of town to the forest and searched around in the forest for a while but soon he realized that it was hopeless. So He went back and tried dialling the number in the newspaper. He prayed that they would have a phone. They did! The zen melons came and picked him up in an odd fashion (they flew!). He thanked them and bid Melonsy and the rest goodbye as the zen melons flew him to Cloud Peak mountain. Finally, the opportunity to… what was the word? Forget? Nah. Melonir thought. He would just have to wait and see what happened. Cloud Peak, Melonia 8:19, September 30, 1997 Melonir Mefol began his training to become a zen melon at Cloud Peak. He worked extremely hard and worked up the ranks beginning from novice all the way to master. “Be calm, stay steady, and breathe. Find that inner zen, and unleash it.” Master Merlon always said. The training was hard and harsh at first but it gradually became fun as he learned how to conjure things like floating discs of energy and orbs of fire. Along the way he met another cantaloupe melon who was keeping up with his progress named Froemel Tenter and they eventually became close friends. They sparred together, they jousted (Froemel always beat Melonir), and they trained together. They even became roommates! The two rarely ever left each other. Cloud Peak, Melonia 18:02, January 7th, 1998 Melonir and Froemel had reached the rank of Apprentice. That meant that they had to go with their master everywhere. At around 18:05, though, some rusted doge tanks came into the valley and started firing at the mountain. Master Merlon decided to do a bit of investigation. Melonir and Froemel went with their master. Nazi zombies were invading Cloud Peak! They managed to hold off the infantry and the tanks but there was an air force coming in too. Melonir knew that the Nazi air force was strong and prayed for the best. However in a few days MiG-29s and Su-24s would begin to arrive at the Nazi air base in the Cloud Valley. Cloud Peak, Melonia 13:57, February 5th, 1998 The siege seemed to have gone on forever. Day after day, more enemies poured into the Cloud Valley, some 40000 feet above sea level. If only help would come… But then again there was that big battle in Pumpkilore. “The problem is,” said Froemel, “that the Dumbo Jumbos have been pouring into the valley for the past 3 weeks or so, and there is no sign at all of reinforcements coming to help”. The only thing the temple had at its disposal were a few hundred troops and a few zen melons, not nearly enough to hold off a division. Or 40, Melonir thought, from the amount of enemies that were swarming like ants, ready to turn Cloud Peak temple into a flaming chunk of composite material. “It was just a matter of food supplies”, said another watermelon. Melonir recognized him as Melikia, the pushy, always hungry melon who always loitered at the front step of the temple eating something. “Food supplies!?” Melonir yelled. “Ha! We have a food warper and we’re surrounded by hostiles, and you’re thinking about food!” an elite mole said. “Sorry”... Melikia mumbled. The fact that they were outnumbered at least 300 to 1 with almost no heavy firepower came into everyone’s head. A few words, Melonir thought bitterly, just like those that were spoken a month ago… He shook himself as much as a melon could shake himself. Don’t relive that moment… The whole reason you came here was to get away from that. He noticed everyone except Melikia, who was eating, was staring at him after his nervous breakdown. “Well… I’ll… Excuse… Myself”... he mumbled. Nobody watched the tears on his face as he left the conference room. Gardinon City, Melonia 17:08, February 6th, 1998 “What are we going to do!?” yelled governor Melonsy of Melonia. “Those Dumbo Jumbos have pushed us so far back! We’re on the verge of losing Cloud Peak AND Pumpkilore!” “Well, on the bright side those are the only 2 battles, right?” asked a melon covered in scars. Everyone in the room thought about that fact. Not very helpful, as the battle of Cloud Peak was the worst siege ever suffered in Lollandia’s history and the battle of Pumpkilore had the highest death rate since the civil war. Lollandia had taken back territory from the invasion, but 2 of the 10 most important spots on the planet were being attacked by demented monsters. Just then, a message came in from Pumpkilore: “We’ve won.” Those words were some of the best Melonsy had ever heard. He would just have to get confirmation from Thomas Lol, the president of Lollandia, and Cloud Peak would be saved. “What do you mean ‘no’”? asked Melonsy. “Why can’t we send reinforcements to Cloud Peak!?” Thomas’s reply had been a simple “Pumpkilore is still being attacked”. What the heck!? thought an angry Melonsy. He prepared his reserve division and set out for Cloud Peak. I am going to save that zen shrine personally. thought Melonsy as he boarded the plane to take them to the outskirts of the Cloud plateau. Cloud Valley, Melonia 21:35, February 10th, 1998 The Cloud Valley was swarming with enemies, and if the Lollandian infiltrator had to guess, he would say it was about 50 divisions. He committed everything to memory, ran along noting troop positions, found the command tent, and shoved a microphone in there. Where is that messenger? wondered Melonsy. He was just about to send another infiltrator for the sake of it when Mika the winter melon almost broke down the door. “What the heck!?” Melonsy yelled. Mika said simply “The infiltrator is back. I think you should call a council meeting”. Trembling, Melonsy did. The news the infiltrator brought back shocked everyone. The Nazis were planning to nuke cloud peak. In 3 weeks (26 earth days), either the Lollandians triumphed or the oldest and most revered zen temple on the planet would be utterly destroyed. Melonsy however, like any Lollandian, never gave up. Chapter 2 Cloud Valley, Melonia 02:56, February 11th, 1998 Melonir and Froemel waited for their master to issue them. It was past midnight and most Lollandians were asleep. Melonir’s eyes were getting droopy but this was an assignment by the head of all zen melons: Meloiner Jont. After about half an hour, Sir Homel the doge general finally called on them. They snuck into the vast military encampment, cutting wires, blowing things up, and generally sabotaging everything. Sir Homel signaled and they ambushed a Nazi military camp toward the edges of the valley. It was completely destroyed. They moved on to the second camp. It was a little tougher than the first but they did manage to take it out. They wrecked three more camps before they needed some close air support. But no support came so they were forced to retreat. Twin Peaks, Pumpkinia 05:38, February 11th, 1998 The Nazis had started air striking the Twin peaks in Pumpkinia close to Melonia. If the Lollandians did not want to lose the landmark of the twin peaks to the Nazi zombies then they had to start deflecting and blocking missiles and bombs from both Cloud peak and the Twin Peaks. The master zen melons issued a deflection shield but that would only block air troops. They still had to take care of the infantry and the tanks that were ready for a melon barbecue. Melonir conjured some discs and chopped off the front line. After that, Froemel zapped off some tanks. Then Melonir finished the rest off by knocking them off of the steep mountain with a fissure which he repaired afterwards. Overall, that was a very short attack but it did do them well as the Dumbo Jumbos’ military was extraordinarily weakened, so that they could not invade the Twin peaks for another 9 days or so. Enough for the Lollandians to regroup and reinforce their army. Cloud Peak, Melonia 12:53, February 12th, 1998 Melonsy had arrived. Melonir greeted and welcomed him with a bump. He ordered his reserve unit to stand in a spike formation around the peak and the zen melons stood towards the inside. Sure enough, the Nazis came marching up the hill. The Lollandian forces quickly shot them down and knocked them off the mountain. But the Nazis quickly regrouped and started shooting from the air. Then some Removers (three striped balls that wear hockey masks and that hate kebabs) came from under the mountain and slaughtered some Lollandian infantry. But the zen melons never gave up and managed to push them back off the mountain. Melonsy realized that they were running low on slushie fuel and rutiedikslieum so he sent Melonir and Froemel to the Melonian islands to retrieve fuel and food supplies. Baguette Island, Melonia 22:40, February 12th 1998 Melonir and Froemel flew to the Baguette island in the Melonian Islands to get a quick snack. Then they bought an unusual amount of baguettes and tacos for the army as Melonsy had ordered. After that they went to Tropika isle to get some rutiedikslieum and some slushies for fuel. Then they rented a small room to stay for the remainder of the day and even got to go a little sightseeing before they returned to mainland Melonia. Melo-Pumpkinian Ocean stripe, Lolocean 18:34, February 13th 1998 “*Phss*sssht” went the radio speaker as it crackled to life. “WHY THE HECK AREN’T YOU HERE YET!!?” yelled an angry Melonsy over the speaker. “Hang on Melonsy, we’re coming” replied Melonir calmly through his transmitter. “Okay, but make it snappy!” said Melonsy in return. “Okay fine”. replied Melonir. They flew down into the battle and handed their stuff over to Melonsy. “What took you so long?” asked an agitated Melonsy. “Can we not have a one day break?” asked Froemel. “Well I suppose that would be fine, but you know how much difference one day can make, right?” asked Melonsy. “Yeah, but we already took out like a hundred Dumbo Jumbos, didn't we?” replied Melonir. With that, he and Froemel zipped into battle and started flinging energy disks. It was an amazing feat of concentration. “That’s what I'm talking about!” said Melonsy But as more and more enemies poured into Lollandia, they knew that the battle was only beginning. Chapter 3 Cloud Valley, Melonia 19:49, February 13th 1998 The first Matthewdonian and Leamarian troops started parachuting down into the Cloud valley. They proved to be a big help at first as their infantry and fighting vehicles helped push the Nazis back. Cubelets, fire spirits and drakkons arrived and helped push the Dumbo Jumbos back much further. But just as victory seemed inevitable, an enormous dust storm momentarily blinded the troops, and in that time the Nazis received even more support, revolted, and pushed the Lollandians back into the valley. Froemel was lost in the dust storm and Melonir received several gunshots but was healed by the mango medics. However, he vowed not to stop looking as long as his friend Froemel was missing. Cloud Valley, Melonia 05:45, February 14th 1998 If Melonir Mefol had to say, they were outnumbered something like 7 to 1. Although more reinforcements came over time, the results were still the same. Melonir stared out at the bright blue day skies of Melonia. He knew that those would soon be filled with fighter jets and bombers in an attempt to make a wreck out of Melonia. But I mustn’t let that happen. thought Melonir. The fate of the planet depended on him and Melonsy. But when he thought of that, he was filled with mixed emotions like grief and anger ...My family. He stormed out of his tent and went out to slaughter some Nazi commanders. He liked to make karma happen early. Cloud Valley, Melonia 13:19, February 15th 1998 Melonir was enduring the endless hardship of the heat and brutality of war. It was exhausting but he never let his guard down, he fought for his country, for his rights, for his friends and for his family. He had just destroyed a tank when a thought struck him; I wonder if after all this, will I ever get to meet Sir L.M.? Sir Lemon-Melon was one of Lollandia’s most legendary war heroes who was almost killed after being cornered by 7 Dumbo Jumbos at once. He was a friend of Melonsy’s but Melonir had never met him because he lived in a separate treehouse in another city. Cloud Valley, Melonia 01:34, February 16th 1998 Melonir wondered when this chaos would end. It seemed forever once the battle just started. And then he remembered the infiltrator from before say; “The Nazis are planning to nuke Cloud peak in 20 days!” then, he forgot all about defence. He equipped himself with a Into-space model M-36. With that, he blasted off into space and set course to the desert planet of Wasterland. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 03:58, February 16th 1998 Melonir had arrived. The Nazi capital was about 3 times as hot as he imagined. He used the frost technique on himself to cool himself down then he climbed onto the roof, froze himself in a cube of ice, and then slid off the roof. He used himself as a distraction, and got in by being collected by the leader of the Nazis; Zadolf Zitler. Then when all the guards were looking away, he busted himself out and threw them all over the horizon before they could even respond. Soon after, he hacked into the system and sent all the Nazis’ plans and strategies to Thomas Lol and Melonsy but he wasn’t the best hacker so he missed the key files like the time of the next siege. Unfortunately for him though, he got caught by some Dumbo Jumbo reinforcements. He quickly fought them off but the station was blown up in the process. At least they don’t have a database for their plans anymore, thought Melonir. He was wrong though. It turns out that the Nazis had a second larger database system and that he had only destroyed the backup one. Shoot. he thought. Cloud Peak, Melonia 04:24, February 16th 1998 Melonsy had received a strange piece of mail. It was from the Nazis. It showed Melonsy most of the Nazi’s plans. Melonsy was puzzled at first but at the end it said: “This piece of mail is from Melonir Mefol.” When Melonsy saw this, he was both infuriated and joyful at the same time. On the one vine, he was real mad at Melonir for going somewhere without telling anyone, and on the other vine, he was happy that they had new intel about the Nazis’ plans for Lollandia. Melonsy transmitted a signal to Melonir to come back, but by the time it had reached Melonir, he was fighting some Nazis. Because of that, Melonsy thought that something bad had happened to Melonir and so he set search to Wasterland himself to find Melonir. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 06:58, February 16th 1998 Melonsy’s shuttle came down into the Fort Anschluss sands. Melonsy came out with a handheld spud cannon and his resort crew were all holding Freeze ML-7s. Melonir was surely somewhere here. Suddenly, a Nazi fired a Luger at one of Melonsy’s resort crew members who was quickly healed by some of the medics while Melonsy shot the Nazi down with a flaming potato travelling at 1.5 km/s. The enemy scout squadron was then finished off by a zen melon energy disc flying through the dust of the destroyed former Nazi camp. Melonir stepped out through the dust. First Melonsy looked relieved, then he started yelling “WHY THE HECK ARE YOU ON THE NAZI DESERT PLANET WHEN CLOUD PEAK IS BEING RAIDED!?” he shouted. Melonir said; “Well, I have to find out what the Nazis are doing and I am also trying to find some lost Lollandians.” “WELL COULD YOU NOT HAVE TOLD SOMEONE!?!” again yelled Melonsy. “I did tell a korn kob but the message never reached you.” said Melonir. “Rrrgh.” grumbled Melonsy. “That's why a melon never trusts a korn kob” Cloud Valley, Melonia 09:02, February 16th 1998 More and more Matthewdonian and Leamarian reinforcement troops marched onto the battlefield with dragons blasting the Nazi tanks and the minions pounding the Nazi zombies with their wooden clubs. Although the Lollandians were still outnumbered 4 to 1, those unicorns did do quite a bit of damage. Piercing the zombies and tanks with Mango knights and master riding on them! While the wizards sat in their magical hammocks and shot fireballs as necessary, the minions were pounding the Nazis infantry with their clubs. Day turned into night, and minions were squashed, and dragons were shot down by rockets. More and more casualties piled up, and in the dark rain, more Nazi troops were arriving. “It’s your job to see that no Nazi troop gets past the road.” said Melonsy. Melonir nodded. He loved this stuff. Shortly before dawn, a Nazi armored column was rumbling up the slowly brightening Cloud Highway. Suddenly, rockets shot at them. Confusion reigned as Melonir’s squad of Guerilla Cats poured onto the highway. Together with a few elite moles, they soon destroyed most of the troop column, and forced the survivors to retreat. “They’ll be back.” an elite mole said. “Yes.” said Melonir. “But now we’re prepared for them.” But little did they know that their enemy had a few tricks up their sleeve as well… Nazi Command and Control, Wasterland 13:09, February 16th 1998 The Nazi Fϋhrer Zadolf Zitler listened to his messenger. The troops that were sent as reinforcements were destroyed. He told his General Erich Manstein to send in the Beast. “Are du zure”? he asked. “Ja”. replied Zadolf. He smiled insanely. Cloud peak would soon fall. Cloud Valley, Melonia 15:12, February 16th 1998 Melonsy saw what was happening. He smashed his shell on his aluminum table. “Rrrgh!” he grumbled. “Those Nazis and Dumbo Jumbos are huge in numbers!” he yelled. But suddenly he had a brilliant insight. We can use Melonir’s info for offensive military strategies! he exclaimed in his head. He went into his inbox and started checking. He found the right mail and inserted it into the Lollandian military database. He looked at the time and place for the next attack. It was at midnight (earth midnight too) on Cloud Valley from the north. He called for his generals and they together proposed that two layers of troops would pretend to defend and then join the reinforcements and zen melons would and attack from the rear end. If reinforcement enemy troops started attacking from behind or air, they would send extra reinforcements correspondingly. 2 hours later… Melonir was waiting in Cloud Valley at camp drinking some Anslush. He knew that the Nazis were planning to attack at midnight. He was nearby the attack site in the caves beside the forest that would soon be invaded, according to intelligence. He asked his master if he could go up to the mountain shrine to grab some supplies, and his master allowed him but only gave him 1 hour. He flew up, stared out at the firey sunset and wondered how much longer the battle would take. Cloud Valley, Melonia 18:20, February 16th 1998 Melonir and some Turkeyballs were sitting on benches in the army camp, eating kebabs, when suddenly a Guerilla Cat burst out of the bushes. He brought news of “a towering Dumbo Jumbo 27 shobais tall.” Melonir and a few others quickly got into the M-64 trailblazer armored car, a mole stepped on the pedal, and they were off, thanks to crazy driving. When they got there, the Guerrilla Cat’s sight was confirmed. There the largest fat black lump of… who knew what that Melonir had ever seen. “Gettings down!” yelled Polun Plokk the Pole. Everyone ducked. Without a millisecond to spare, a chunk of a boulder flew above them, nearly taking a Turkeyball with it. Polun had saved them, but there was no time to waste. More chunks of debris appeared, undoubtedly from the monster. It was hard to keep moving in the storm of battle, but the group trudged on. Sooner or later, this battle will end, Melonir thought. Cloud Valley, Melonia 19:58, February 16th 1998 Melonsy was in his bed, asleep. Suddenly, his radio transmitter woke him with a shudder. He picked it up. It was Melonir. “We have a problem here.” he said. “There is a 27 shobai tall Dumbo Jumbo! They might be starting already!” he yelled. Melonsy thought for a moment. “The Nazis can’t be starting already!” Melonsy said back through the transmitter. “I’ll send in 5 tanks and 9 paratroopers with blasters.” “Okay thanks!” said Melonir. Melonsy was confused. Why were they sending in their troops before midnight? Was it because they needed something to pave the way into Cloud valley? Or was it just a trick to draw out Lollandian reinforcements so that they could be ambushed later at midnight? They would just have to wait and see. Cloud Valley, Melonia 20:31, February 16th 1998 Melonir saw 9 paratroopers descending from bombers through the dust. They were all holding ML-9 gamma-electron blasters and shooting at the beast. He ducked and a turkeyball was knocked out while three other removers joined the fight all yelling “REMOVE!!!!!” They killed off one kebab but were all knocked off by shadow fighters from behind. Some Mango knights whom he recognized from the army camp apparently appeared. Melonir yelled at them to get back to camp and that they could handle the situation. It looked as though they had the beast tied down. Some Turkeyballs lassoed it and pulled it down while the Doge Tanks and paratroopers put scars and holes in it, and Melonir did the final blow harnessing his energy into one huge energy beam and put a 5 foot diameter hole in it. The beast was dead. Melonir and his reinforcements went back to their camp only to find it under attack again. The word in everybody’s head right then was simply “darn.” Chapter 4 Cloud Valley, Melonia 22:46, February 16th 1998 Everyone was panicking. It was pundamonium. (Because even the Pundas were panicking) Melonir killed 5 removers with one energy disk before a Vomit Comet bit him (no easy task, as he was round) and dragged him into the sky. The Vomit Comet then dropped him but was surprised to find that Melonir didn't fall straight into the ground. Instead, when it let go, Melonir turned around and blasted the Vomit Comets’ crew out of the Lollandian atmosphere. “Now to get to business.” he said. He closed his eyes and sensed all foreign invaders. Then, he sent homing energy orbs and dealt a fair amount of damage to all the enemy forces. Then, he sensed them again, but this time, he lifted them up, and dropped them from a height. That pretty much finished off the siege. Cloud Peak, Melonia 23:38, February 16th 1998 Melonir was waiting for his promotion to the rank of graduate. His master would then assign him to a protector position in some outpost, or put him in a commando squad. He was pretty much a commando already, from all the fighting he’d been through. His master finally came in the room promoted him to graduate, and gave him a rice hat. His master then assigned him to the 38th elite melon squadron. Melonir’s eyes widened. The most famous fighters on Lollandia, and he was joining them right after he graduated! He eagerly thanked his master, then went outside to the first rays of a bloodred sunrise. Cloud Valley, Melonia 4:03, February 17th 1998 Melonir was using his newly learned skills to bury some Nazis alive. Some Dumbo Jumbos nearly swiped him from behind. He quickly blasted them to ashes. He then ordered a squadron of Mango Archers to fire a barrage of flaming arrows at a swarm of poozers coming from the south. He used two fireballs to take down a large Dumbo Jumbo towering over him. He came out of the burning battlefield covered in sweat. It had been a long battle, and like everyone else on that field, he was feeling very much like perishing in the beds. Gardinon, Melonia 9:45, February 17th 1998 “What!?” yelled Melonsy. “Yup, the Nazis are setting up sniper towers. But luckily, they’re still under construction.” said his general, Sir Moustachio the human. “But they’re already swarming our troops! How are supposed to defend from the North front, the East front, and the sky?!!!?” “You forgot the South and West fronts.” Mustachio pointed out. “SHUT UP!” Melonsy yelled. Just then, he remembered. Melonir had been assigned to the 38th elite melons. A smile slowly crept along his face. Cloud Peak, Melonia 10:32, February 17th 1998 Melonir sat at a camp bench in the Cloud Valley. Melonsy had just called the 38th in for “reinforcements.” Judging from his tone of voice while on the radio, “reinforcements” meant “killing every enemy you can see.” The 38th was getting ready to probably do that by noon. So far, there were about 150 extra elites in the valley, who were amusing themselves by noscoping tanks. The only thing Melonir was doing was trying to find Froemel. He really hoped that he hadn’t been killed yet. Melonir had already lost so much. He didn’t want to have to lose Froemel. At this point, he was all Melonir had left. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 11:23, February 17th 1998 Zadolf Zitler sat at a chair talking to his generals. In 1 or 2 weeks, the nuclear bomb would be ready, and Cloud peak would fall. But for now… he would send them a little gift. Cloud Peak, Melonia 12:21, February 17th 1998 “What the heck is that?” asked Polun the Pole. Melonir looked up. It was some sort of barrel, with wires protruding from it. That seemed bad. It crashed into the Cloud valley, and out came… nothing. Or at least he thought it was nothing, until melons began dropping. Poison Gas! Melonir thought. He quickly called a cleanup squad. They were on the case in seconds. But already more barrels were dropping. Everyone groaned. This Zadolf Zitler had a lot of weapons. The one in everybody’s mind right then, however, was not the gas barrels. It was the nuclear bomb. That was going to cause a massive fireworks show unless they stopped it. But how? You can’t just blow it up in mid-air. The radiation would be horrendous. This was getting very annoying. Cloud Peak Airbase, Melonia 17:37, February 17th 1998 Melonir sat at the controls of an A10 stealth shuttle ready to take off with his copilot Elite Melon Jonathan Vinus. The two had become aces on their first training flight, shooting down a squadron of Sukhoi 34 bombers. They were both skilled Zen melons and could kill almost every hostile aircraft in the sky. Also, the A10 had a slushy machine. Vinus and Melonir became inseparable. They’d be best friends, but they had both lost their best friends in battle. That can make a melon very depressed. Chapter 5 Cloud Peak Airbase, Melonia 2:26, February 19th 1998 The hours passed by very quickly. Melonir was now an experienced pilot, that being his one of his favourite jobs other than eating and Nazi slaughtering. But a few days later, Melonir heard rumour that Vinus had been killed in battle, possibly by Erich Manstein himself. This loss stuff was getting VERY annoying. He had lost 2 friends now and he couldn’t do anything about it. He hopped into his A10 which he had repainted to look like a flaming rocket and he also bought some new upgrades like the mini nuclear arsenal loaded with destructive mini nukes to bomb on enemy troops. Oh yeah… nukes. He got out of the A10 and went to call Melonsy to ask for a commando raid on the Nazi base. Just then, a weird-smelling explosion blew a large hole in the wall. Melonir stifled some curses and went outside to join the fight. Cloud Peak Airbase, Melonia 3:43, February 19th 1998 Things were not at their best. Missiles and evil little Poozers were coming down fast. Battleaxes flew, and so did Poozers (Nasty little guys). Everyone was clustered around the supply route, which ran around the valley. Leopard tanks were coming up the road and being bowled over (literally) because Zen melons were rolling boulders down the hill. There was a front swarm of Removers. Melonir cut them down with his new Zen power, the wind sword. More and more enemies ran up the hill. Eventually they had killed basically every hostile on the road. They were victorious… Just then, the click of a gun being loaded sounded behind them. A group of nazis had snuck up behind them! “Vi are taking du prizuner!” yelled a nazi in an SS hat. Everyone was trapped. It seemed they had no way out of this, until suddenly a shuttle came into sight, behind the nazis. The door opened, and Melonsy himself dropped out of the shuttle and killed all of the hostage-takers. “Hiya.” he said. “Need some help?” To make a long story short, nobody had a solution for the problem of burying the bodies. Cloud Peak, Melonia 1:20, February 19st 1998 Assembling a commando squad was hard. So far, they only had Melonir and 2 Mango Assassins. That was mostly the plan; right now it was Step 1: Infiltrate Fort. Step 2: Improvise. Step 3: GET TO THE CHOPPER!!! Yeah. Also, the nazi raids got more frequent. More and more removers dropped from helicopters with swords and REALLY bad attitudes. The Cloud Peak airbase was so heavily cratered, you could barely run on the airstrip without tripping over a hole. So Melonsy decided they had to go attack Nazi airbases on Wasterland’s moons. Melonir and a group of other seasoned pilots got into their bombers and took off. Space 4:57, February 19th, 1998 The first sign of trouble appeared at around the Froxe double-planet system. A squadron of Su-22SM fighters came up into the Zero-G zone.. Boom. Another squadron of F-104 Starfighters. Boom. Transport squad. Boom. Finally, a Finn broke the tension and yelled through the communication lines “I’m bored!” Now, when you are flying through space at hypersonic speeds through hostile territory, saying ‘I’m bored’ might be tempting fate just a little bit. A split second later, the Finn’s attack craft went KABLOOEY! They had just been ambushed by a flight of Ramjet Helicopters. Those were nasty little things. They lost 3 planes, which was like, ⅓ of the planes. By the time they were in the polluted Wasterland atmosphere, the squadron was cranky and ready to kill everything. Missiles could not track them, but as they swooped down to make it rain weapons, some brave (or stupid) snipers came out and shot at them. Everyone stayed for 5 hours, dropping all their bombs, terrorizing Fort Anschluss, destroying cloning facilities, and generally having a good time. Melonsy was pleased and so was Melonir. It would be much easier to find Froemel and stop the nuke now. Riiiight. Chapter 6 Cloud Peak, Melonia 4:00, February 20th 1998 Melonir and Melonsy sat at a table. They had just finished assembling their commando squad. It consisted of Melonir, Melonsy (the pickup guy), 3 other Zen Melons, an Elite melon, a Mango medic, an Elite Mole, Polun, a Lemon, and 3 Mango commandos. Now, they just had to figure out how to land. They couldn’t land in the desert, or they’d be shot down or die of thirst. As for landing in the city… well, you can’t exactly do that on a hostile planet. Fortunately, Cactusian drill technology helped them here. They had developed a makeshift plan to save Cloud Peak. It went as follows: first, they’d crash into the sand and burrow a makeshift HQ, making it look like they’d crashed and died. Step two: the Zen Melons would tunnel into the Reichstag bathrooms. They would then let everyone in and kill everything that was not Lollandian. They would then find the nuke, defuse it, find the prisoners, and run into the desert. Melonsy’s helicopter would be waiting in the dunes. The commando raid was scheduled to be 15 days later. It seemed like it would work. But no, they would have a bad time. Cloud Peak, Melonia 5:39, February 20th 1998 Melonir was getting ready for combat air patrol. This meant three hours of stooging around the valley waiting for the enemy. It was so boring. But not today. The second Melonir and his flight were up in the air, the Su-22s and F-104s were ready. The next few hours were chaos. Melonir had a deadly duel with the leading nazi ace, Otto Kriegsmellen, which ended VERY badly for Kreigsmellen. Melonir just kept shooting and shooting. Just when the battle seemed to be over, they were dive- bombed by a bunch of suicidal nazis. Zen melons on the ground blew them up with lightning bolts. As the sun came up and the crew landed, the sky was so filled with fire, it didn’t even look blue anymore. Throughout the day, more and more enemy troops landed onto the valley. Melonsy grinned and decided it was time for some fun. Cloud Peak, Melonia 7:48, February 20th 1998 Melonir was training in the temple when the news reached him. He said some very bad words. ANOTHER commando raid? He was being the LEADER of one in a WEEK! And now he apparently had to (along with some other very annoyed troops) infiltrate the enemy camp, and somehow destroy it. As if THAT wasn’t hard enough, they had to destroy every nazi jet in the valley. There was one upside, however. Melonir had just finished learning the new lightning Zen skill and he could now make fried tank at 55 metres. Cloud Valley, Melonia 8:21, February 20th 1998 Melonir readied himself to take down the attacking Nazi fighter jets and bombers with his fellow zen melons and went inside the nazi camp wearing stealth helmets. They planted explosive charges around the camp. All was well. Until suddenly, a Mango Knight tripped over a rock and his helmet fell off. “Sehr ist ein Lollandian!” yelled a Nazi. Polun shot him, but the damage was done. Nazis poured into the clearing. They couldn’t see the Melons, but the guns were pointed everywhere. If they tried to run, they’d be killed. Suddenly, Melonir had an idea. Polun had always been a good ventriloquist. He used the telepathy chip to tell Polun to throw his voice into a clump of bushes. Polun did just that, and as soon as the Nazis turned, Melonir sprayed out a lightning bolt which turned nazis into bacon. (not REAL bacon) Now for the nazi jets. Chapter 7 Cloud Valley, Melonia 9:37, February 20th 1998 Melonir and the group snuck into the Nazi air base. While Tran, a Mango Commando, killed the guards, Polun snuck into the control tower and set all the defenses to fire at their own aircraft. That way, the pilots in their shuttles got a break. Next, they got the heck out of there while a few Elite Melons shelled the runway with potatoes. Melonir then called Cloud Peak to send in a strafe squad. The 3 shuttles swept in and methodically began to shoot at everything they could see; the hangars, the planes, the command tent, the barracks, and the refuelling station. When the destruction was over, Melonir called Melonsy and said “I think we’re done here…” Cloud Peak, Melonia 13:30, February 20th 1998 Melonsy had just received Melonir’s call on his Appole. He was now overseeing the Cloud Peak defense line. An armored column had just been blown up by nazis. “Get back to work”! he yelled at 3 melons who had slacked off. He went into the tent to discuss defense with his commanders, who were playing a game of bridge. “Get up!” he yelled at them. “We’re playing in the Lagos.” said his aide- de-camp, Merlion Rakon. “Liqos”? Merilon asked. “I think you should lead the Cat of Pondirs.” He shook himself. “Finish this game”, he said. “Then we’ll discuss.” Cloud Valley, Melonia 17:07, February 20th 1998 Melonir led Polun and a group of Alpha troops into the dense forest of the Cloud Valley. They were going to spy on the Nazis and hopefully kill a lot of them too. Polun looked somewhat sad. What Melonir didn’t know was that Polun looked to him like a dad. Polun’s father had died before he was born, and his mom had been killed in action. War had taken both their families, but it could also form new friendships. The Nazi forward base 18:50, February 20th 1998 Melonir and his fellow spies slowly crept into the Nazi camp. Jack Melluer, a renowned Alpha Soldier, dug a small tunnel for all the commandos to crawl through. Everyone ended up in a different place. Polun and Jack crawled in through the latrines, and Melonir dug under a Nazi soldier, quickly killing him. He called the rest of the squad to see how they were doing. “We’re fine”! Polun said into the field radio. Melonir heard lasers on the other side, so he decided not to comment. The rest of the squad gave the same response except Tran, who said he was lighting the hangars on fire. He forged into the camp with his stealth helmet, randomly tossing bombs into tents and causing complete chaos by pretending to be a poltergeist. After that bit of fun, he decided to spy for some time. He snuck into the Nazi Ops room and recorded the whole thing. The Nazi dialogue went something like this: “Vi vill attack sie mountain! Tonight!” “Ahr du zure?” “Ja! Of course ich am zure!” “But, Commander… ” “Shuttings up ein gib strudel.” “Can ich into strudel, captain?” “Nein, only officers kann into strudel.” “Fine… ” At this point Melonir got bored and decided to pull out the tent legs, hot-wire a few tanks, and set the entire mess hall on fire. The little group of spies sent a parting gift - a stick of explosives, and with that they took the hazardous route home. Cloud Trails, Melonia 20:03, February 20th 1998 Melonir and his group of spies were travelling through the dense jungle. Melonir led and used his wind blades to cut through the leaves. Jack had gone up ahead to scout for enemies, and within a minute the rest of the spies heard some unprintable German curses, followed by a round of laser fire. “Well,” a melon said, “there’s our only problem.” Everyone looked where the melon was looking. There stood a force of Dumbo Jumbos and Poozers, armed with StG 1944 assault rifles. To make a long story short, they got back at midnight needing medics and a shower. Cloud Peak, Melonia 3:14, February 21st 1998 Melonsy and all of his commanders sat at a table discussing how to defend Cloud Peak when Melonir and Polun sauntered in eating popsicles that they had bought from the nearest BubbleCafe. “Hi.” Melonir said. “Whatcha guys talkin’ about?” Within a few hours, the high command learned that Melonir had gone for a little spy job… and that the nazis were planning ANOTHER attack. Melonsy sighed and got a bottle of Anslush. Cloud Valley, Melonia 10:01, February 21st 1998 The Lollandian defense was a formidable sight. Landmines and barbed wire were everywhere. Turrets were buried in the ground. All around, defenders were huddling in pillboxes with machine guns. But the Nazis were also a formidable sight. They had blockaded the road, and taken a large part of the forest, so much that Melonsy decided to send in a very sleepy Melonir with a paratroop squad of 20. The squad landed and immediately began huddling, away from the sniper fire, the bullets. Melons and moles fell, but so did nazis, as they stepped on landmines left and right. Eventually, they had taken back most of the forest. They went to the pickup zone and hid in the bushes. Thankfully they did. The Nazis had shot down their plane and captured the pilot. Melonir then got mad and shot THEM down. But they were now stuck in the jungle. Great. Junglour, Melonia ___, February 22nd 1998 Melonir got out the fire materials to warm up some bacon while 2 members of the paratroop squad, Jackson and Mike, went out to try to find their way back. Many of the cell bunkers had been bombed out by the Nazis so Melonir couldn't call anyone. He tried to go on mobile data, but that wouldn’t work either, because according to Mobile City, he had no data left. He tried to talk to HQ on his radio, but the only listed contacts were Jackson the mole and Pineo the pumpkin. He sighed and scooped the bacon onto tin plates, to a happy (and hungry) Melikia whose pockets were already bulging with candy bars. Junglour, Melonia ___, February 22nd 1998 They trudged through the slimy and unusually dark jungle undergrowth. Soon, they had found a giant Pacmap tree close to a patch of rocks. They had a vote, and they decided to set up camp in the rocks. They dug a tunnel into the patch and found a giant hollow rock that appeared to have a blocked off entrance. Nine of them started breaking through the entrance but as soon as the first bloodred crack was made, the entrance exploded. They were blown back and bows flew out and killed the digging crew while skorpions scuttled out and chased the rest. Junglour, Melonia ___, February 22nd 1998 A startled and dizzy Melonir was blown back as skorpions surrounded him and started stabbing at him. A bow flew down and bit him and it hurt like hell. He focused all his remaining energy into one giant explosion that killed the majority of the bows and skorpions before he passed out. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___, 1998 When Melonir woke up, he was lying on a rock covered in moss. He saw Jackson making soup. Jackson came over and checked his bandages. The remaining 9 paratroop members were at a camp trying to scavenge food and resources. He counted who was dead. Pineo, John, Melikia, Hentur, Joth, Huenon, Danner, Hock, Ian, Tosh. 10 dead, 9 left not including himself. He was hurt and he couldn’t move. “What happened?” Melonir asked him. “Well,” Jackson said. “The cave where we tried to dig our camp, you know - it was actually the Skorpion caves. 10 of us died, but luckily the rest escaped.” “You can find them by the tents.” he said. Melonir got up. It seemed that one of his eyes had been busted in. He went to the tents. 2 melons, 1 person and 3 moles were sleeping, while the rest were on guard. He went to the small pond and began to draw water to fill his canteen. Suddenly, a scream issued from the trees. It was followed by a “HUGA HUGA!” in an un-lollandian voice. Just then, he saw a glint of metal. He was pulled back by one of the humans. Just in time. Not a second later, right where he was standing, came a blast of fire and spears. Everyone tensed, ready for a fight. Suddenly, out came a 6 foot tall very hairy guy who was wearing some very primitive clothes, but he was RIDING ON A MECHANICAL FIRE-BREATHING TRICERATOPS! It looked like they had finally found the legendary Huga-men. Melonir did a quick head count and everyone appeared to still be there. He wondered who the scream came from and what happened to the person. In the meantime, he forced himself off the rock and braced himself. This was going to be a rough ride. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___, 1998 The Huga-men charged and they didn’t appear to be going for them but the flaming spears still annihilated the camp. Everyone got the heck out of there, into the pond, up trees, behind boulders. Melonir and Jackson hid behind a rock. “This is terrifying.” whispered Jackson. “I think we’re in the Shadow Jungle.” replied Melonir. “I mean, where else could you find THIS stuff?” He indicated a Huga-Man who was trying to figure out how to get across the pond. Just then, a spear burned through the dense undergrowth, revealing a man who looked a bit like a Huga-man, though he was evidently not, for then began an interesting firefight, one with green-tipped arrows, as well as flaming spears. “This really IS the Shadow Jungle.” breathed Melonir. As spears fell around them and Lollandians were impaled, they tried to get out of there, but to no avail. Backstory of the Shadow Jungle From the papers of Sir Alfred Lol, Ph.D (Also the founder of Lollandia) In Melonia, at the foot of Cloud Peak, there is an area where the jungle turns dark and slimy. We call this the Shadow Jungle. It appears in the ancient Zen Scrolls as the place where, a long time ago, a great disaster struck. It was known as a shadow-strike. Since then, nobody has been known to get out but me. I myself survived only by taking three steps in. There are things even I would not try. The Zen scrolls say, that inside the jungle there are two rival tribes of primitive peoples called “Huga- men” and “Hobo-men”. The Scrolls also say that once you have gotten out, you must leave behind a part of your soul. I do not think that is true, however I have felt a bit empty after I came. The Museum apologizes that this section of the papers was wet when we unearthed it. Status of artifact in museum of renowned objects: Private artifact - not on display Artifact Number: 403992 Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir, Jackson, and a few others were the only survivors of that encounter, though they were all severely wounded. Their food and survival warper didn’t work, either. They trouped through the forest to find a camping place. Melonir’s mind was wandering. Earlier that day, they had seen what a Hobo-man arrow could do. Mike had been hit by one. He had died within minutes writhing in pain. The upside was, they had picked up a few arrows for their bow. Then again, this was the Shadow Jungle. There were almost no upsides, except for just being alive. Heck, they couldn’t even tell the time, because there were absolutely no clearings in the dark canopy. For all they knew, it was the year . Gardinon, Melonia 19:44, February 25, 1998 Melonsy paced the room. Melonir was gone. GONE. With this, they couldn’t do the raid. He thought what to do. Suddenly, in came a messenger. His name was Merlinion. Melonsy liked him. Merlinion gasped for breath, then said: “The 3rd paratroops’ plane was shot down. Melonir is missing. We have tried to contact him.” More gasping for breath. “But his and all the other paratroops’ radios are down. This has never happened before. We believe he is in the… the… “Spit it out!” yelled Melonsy. “The Shadow Jungle.” said the messenger, who then promptly fainted. That got Melonsy thinking. The Shadow Jungle… Melonsy turned white (even though he was a watermelon). He then went to his bunk for some Wodka. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 19:57, February 25, 1998 “Meloneer ist eins sie forest? Alone?” asked Zadolf Zitler. “Ja.” said his chief of spying, Erich Manstein III. “Our spies have zeen sie shot-down plane. Sadly, all zrei of zem have died of blöod löss söon afterr.” “Wastever.” said Zitler. “Now vi know where he is.” Manstein offered, possibly as a means of making conversation. “Ja. Ja. Vi do now.” Zitler said. “Ich think it’s time to take care of him once and for all. He pressed a small button on the table and called his secretary. “Send in sie troops.” he said. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir shot an enormous skorpion with his spud cannon and broke it in two. He then joined his teammates in setting up their camp. It wasn’t the best. But it was the best they could do. Melonir whipped up some camouflage, however it wasn’t that good. He was quite sure that the first enemy to walk by would be sure to see them and then it would be curtains. Just then, another large WHOOSH of flames lit up not a few meters away from them. Melonir sighed, picked up his gun, and joined the fight. It was the largest concentration of Huga-men and Hobo-men he had ever seen. Also, was that a battering motorcycle? He fired at a Huga-man riding a triceratops. They both pitched over into a nest of snakes, who did not welcome them warmly. Melonir heard Yuden’s death cry before Yuden was impaled by a Hobo-man’s knife. Canalops was fighting a losing battle with a raptor. Jackson solved that by blowing it up in mid-leap with a pineapple. One by one, the Lollandians slowly won the 3-sided battle. Melonir sliced a Huga-man in half with a machete, and it was over. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ The remaining 6 paratroopers returned to their open, damaged camp. There was Melonir the watermelon, Jackson the mole, Canalops the cantaloupe, Aslef the human, Pekka the finn, and Milol the mole. They scavenged their remaining food and rationed it out while trying to find their way out. They split up and Melonir was paired with Jackson. About 10 minutes later, a scream came from the direction that Canalops and Pekka had went. They did an investigation and saw a dead Canalops on the ground and a unconscious Pekka on a rock. They heard some snuffling and grunting coming from a nearby bush and armed themselves. Suddenly, a pack of small and hostile monsters jumped out at them. They cornered Melonir and Jackson in a bush but suddenly, two of the creatures were strangled by a scarred Pekka. That distracted the monsters for enough time for Melonir and Jackson to kill half of them. Pekka strangled a couple more while Melonir and Jackson finished them off. Then Pekka collapsed onto the undergrowth again. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Pekka was dying from Wodka deficiency and Melonir had lost an eye from the critters. He fashioned himself a green eyepatch out of moss while Jackson made some stew out of their remaining resources. He put the finishing touches on his moss eyepatch, then went to bandage Pekka. Jackson’s stew now looked brown and had about the consistency of just mixed cement. “Can you speak?” Melonir asked Pekka. “Yes, I can.” Pekka mumbled. “Need… Wodka.” “We don’t have any Wodka.” Melonir replied. “Whatever.” Pekka grunted. “I’m going to find some grapes.” Melonir didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was the Shadow Jungle, and that there were no grapes. But about an hour later, he came back with three entire grapevines. “WAIT!” yelled Jackson. “They might be poisonous.” Like your stew. Melonir thought. “I’m a finn.” Pekka replied. “I KNOW what an actual grape looks like, and how to make Wodka. Within minutes, he was up and running again. And apparently, so were the tiny monsters. Melonir had nicknamed them “Death Weasels”. A pack of them jumped at the trio while they were travelling. Pekka threw a Molotov Cocktail and ran like hell. The weasels burned. However, the forest had other plans. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir had noticed that the forest was attacking them. First, there was the weird thing about the branches trying to kidnap Pekka. Then, boulders rolled down hills for no reason at all. The forest seemed… alive. The ground shifted into patches of quicksand. The moss turned sticky in some places and slippery in others. Trees went timber and the humidity level exploded. Sap oozed and shot out of trees in giant globs. The wind shifted, the quicksand patches grew larger, and above all, there was this creepy laughing-like sound that seemed to be coming from everywhere all at once. Pekka fell into some quicksand and Melonir and Jackson helped him out right before a tree went timber on the now huge patch of quicksand. The destruction seemed to follow them, creating a path of chaos in their wake. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir felt like he was going to die of heat stroke. Jackson was sweating and panting like crazy, and Pekka was struggling to keep up. Suddenly, a patch of quicksand opened up out of nowhere. Jackson and Melonir barely managed to dodge it while Pekka couldn't do it quick enough so he got trapped. Melonir and Jackson couldn't help him this time, as the quicksand patch was expanding rapidly, and the destruction was getting stronger. Pekka let out one last strangled cry before a tree fell right onto him. As for Melonir and Jackson, their main priority was to escape the forest. They had no time to grieve over their comrade’s death. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ The jungle was starting to get tired. It stopped trying to kill them but not without making one last attempt to crush them with a tree. Melonir and Jackson almost passed out as they were so tired, they felt half dead. They rested, then tried to set up a makeshift camp. All they ended up with was a small overhead canopy and some vines for walls. Then they tried to set up a fire but failed miserably. They took turns guarding while the other guy slept. After that, they made a couple of axes out of sticks and stones. Then they carved a small stone figurine of Pekka to keep as a memory. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Even though they had stopped to rest, the heat was killing them. They were also starving and thirsty. Melonir proposed they try to make some Wodka with the remaining grapes. They weren't able to make Wodka but they did make a savory sweet blend that tasted somewhat like Wodka. They named it Modka. They also saved a couple of grapes so they could get more by knowledge of the appearance of grapes. They went around comparing the grapes to other grape-like fruits and even managed to pick up some bowfruit (Melonir was familiar with these). They made another batch of drink and saved some bowfruit and grapes to eat for later. They were both disappointed that there was no meat but it was all they could do they set up. With some of the bowfruit, they made a drink that tasted a little like meed. Jackson then set up a small wooden table while Melonir fashioned a small moss basket to hold their water. “I’m going to see if I can get some rainwater.” he said to a very unhappy Jackson. Just then, he heard a crash of thunder outside. He happily went into the clearing for rainwater. But instead, it was blood. Hot, dry, blood. Melonir decided not to get water and instead stayed inside trying to cook some sort of wild fanged squirrel. Hey, he had to live on something. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir pulled the string on his new willow bow. It snapped, and almost took his good eye out. He sighed and began another bow. Jackson was out getting bowfruit, so he would be alone for another hour or so. Their food supply was running fine, but the nearest spring was filled with blood and urine. Suddenly, Jackson pushed through the vine curtain. He had lost 3 fingers and he was trying to staunch the flow of blood. He also had a deep gash on his calf. He said “I found a good spring.” Melonir jumped at the news. “But there are death weasels there.” Darn. They would have to fight. Gardinon, Melonia 17:23, February 27, 1998 Melonsy rolled around his room. So far, 2 rescue teams had tried to find the paratroop squad. So far, none had come back. He was now drinking heavily. You can’t do that anymore. he chided himself. But somewhere out there, was Melonir. Lost in a jungle with nothing, possibly dead. Knowing that, how could one be happy? Fort Anschluss prison, Wasterland ___,___,___,___ Froemel the zen melon sat in the Fort Anschluss maximum-security prison slowly dying. He and the other prisoners had almost lost hope when one of them, a pumpkin, overheard the Nazis saying that they were going to send the prisoners to a concentration camp in some time. He looked at the wall covered in dried blood and graffiti. That could be him if he wasn’t rescued soon. The prisoners were served nasty, moldy, bacterial bread. The prisoners were not allowed to speak to each other. They could see each other but were not allowed to speak. Instead, they made a secret code of hitting the walls and visual expressions. Froemel could only sit there hoping with all his heart that someone would come and rescue them. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir loaded his bow and prepared to fire at the death weasels. He and Jackson were ready to take over the water source. Just then, a weasel turned. Melonir released his arrow and caught it in the head. Then it became an all-out brawl. Jackson skewered a weasel with his spear, pinning it to another weasel, who promptly died. Melonir fired into the swarm of fur and teeth, killing almost all of them. When the last of the death weasels retreated into the trees, Jackson stood guard while Melonir scooped water into their canteens. They splashed themselves clean, and shot down 3 exotc birds to eat later. But in the meantime, Jackson’s leg cut was becoming worse and worse. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir was not the best at first aid. He bandaged Jackson’s leg, but there was no anti- infection medicine. He remembered that infection was the biggest killer when it came to wounds. He desperately tried to find some anti infection plants. After about 20 minutes of looking, he found a patch of leaves that he could swear was the exact plant that the Cloud Peak medics used. He picked some. It didn’t sting, so he figured it was the same plant. Melonir ran over to Jackson, tore open his bandage, and pressed the plant onto it. He held his breath. Amazingly, the swelling went away and the pus drained. Melonir thanked his luck, put back Jackson’s bandage, and slept. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir checked Jackson’s bandage after he woke up. The swelling was back, but this time it was twice as bad. The pus was draining at an all time high and now the bone was showing through the gash. Melonir desperately tried to find some better healing herbs. The ones that he used before were all wilted and dead. Nothing he could do would help. He tried using the zen melon heal ability but that only caused some more pus to leak out. He grabbed some damp moss and stuck it on the wound. He put the bandage back on. That would have to do for now. Suddenly, a tree fell down on the canopy, ripping it into two pieces and crushing the table. The jungle was back. Gardinon, Melonia 13:07, February 28, 1998 Melonsy paced around the room. Outside of his command station, the battle raged. He knew he would have to go soon. At that point, he had given up all hope for Melonir. His goal now was to inflict havoc on the Nazis. So he did. Melonsy went outside and joined in the fight. His missiles took out the majority of the Nazi aircraft, but they still had to worry about the ground troops. Melonsy shot off a few patrols with his Suomi Sniper, but just then a bomb threw him onto the ground. He looked around; most of the fortress had survived. However, a chunk of wall had been blown off, and Poozers were quickly catapulted in. A few fire spirits, in dragon form, took them out quickly. Melonsy got into a bunker with his close friend Iorek Byrnison, an armored polar bear. Suddenly, a troop of para-nazis busted into the base. Iorek got up, and knocked them clear off the mountaintop clearing with one swipe of his energy- charged paw. Melonsy, in his bunker, fired a quick burst of Bruh beams at the troops swarming up the mountainside. Bruh guns shot rays that made targets say “Bruh.” while passing out. Sleeping while trying to invade Cloud Peak… well, that was as good as dead. A picture of Melonir floated into his head. He shook it out and kept firing Bruh beams. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir staunched the flow of blood from Jackson’s leg after a raid on a death weasel nest. They were knocking down the burrows when Jackson had started bleeding. Melonir was no doctor, but he was pretty sure Jackson would not make it. He went to check on his soup, it didn’t look very bad. He ate some and then went to make Jackson eat. However, every time he swallowed something, it just came right up. That was when Melonir knew. He checked Jackson’s leg again. The bite mark now looked green and was swelling. Something about the death weasel fangs… maybe they were venomous? The cut began to spew dark yellow pus. Jackson… he didn’t have much time. Melonir couldn’t survive on his own. He began to make a plan of escape. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ Melonir found an old machete behind some rocks. He now had a good tool to cut vines. Jackson was now able to walk, but was still weak and wouldn’t be too good in a fight. They began to carve a path through the jungle with the machete. 2 minutes in, the trees started trying to kill them again. Melonir lopped off their limbs and the attack stopped. They then met a giant spider and Jackson blinded it with a spear. Melonir finished it off with 3 quick slashes of the machete. They then came to a small spring-fed pool. Jackson suggested that they set up camp here. Melonir agreed to that, so they took out their leaf tarp and laid it over a rock pile to make a shelter. Jackson said that he would keep watch so Melonir went to sleep. He drifted off into a happy oblivion. Junglour, Melonia ___,___,___,___ “AHHH!!!” Melonir bolted out of bed. Jackson was being tortured by a spider. Melonir shot it. More spiders drifted out of the woods. Jackson threw spears and slashed with the machete, while Melonir shot arrows. They vanquished the last of the spiders within 5 minutes, but just then, a spider 20 feet tall crashed through the trees and fired a string of high-powered silk. It tore through their shelter. They backed away, avoiding silk lasers. “I’ve got a good idea.” whispered Melonir. “What is it?” Jackson asked. Another laser burst, revealing hundreds of other spiders. “RUN!” he screamed. They both bolted and behind them, death weasels emerged from the rocks and a raptor thing crashed through the bushes. Melonir sliced and diced vines that were trying to grab Jackson and him. A blue monkey dropped to the forest floor and bit Jackson’s leg. He cried out and Melonir murdered the monkey with the machete. “Leave me!” yelled Jackson. “I can’t!” cried Melonir. “You have to.” Jackson said. “Now, GO!!!” With tears in his eyes, Melonir rolled away as fast as he could. Chapter 8 Junglour, Melonia __,__,__,__ Melonir was beginning to see the clearing of light in front of him as he dodged vines, branches, weasels and other notorious creatures. The light began to slowly pulse and suddenly, it enveloped him whole. Melonir was outside of the Shadow Jungle. He looked around at his surroundings. The jungle was nowhere to be seen. He was in a clearing of dispersed ouk trees. He spotted a boulder with a limp shape on it. The thing was covered in blood. Melonir realized with a jolt that this was a high ranking Nazi commander. He stared up at Melonir and drew a handgun out of his uniform. He shot several times at Melonir and he dodged them all. Suddenly, he lunged up and tried to grab Melonir. Melonir jumped out of the way just in time. He realized that this was turning into an all out brawl. He tried to summon a fireball but he was still too weak. He grabbed an unusually large rock for a melon his size to carry and threw it. It crashed into the nazi’s skull with a satisfying crunch. ????, Melonia 13:00, March 2 1998 Melonir was tired. After annihilating a Nazi brigade, he sat on a rock and tried to get his bearings. He looked and saw vines and tall trees everywhere. It looked like Melonia, but he couldn’t be sure. By now he had regained his strength, but he still couldn’t use any Zen, for he feared that he would burn up. He turned a corner and found a ruined village. It was strangely and vaguely familiar. These ruins didn’t look very recent nor did they look very old. He set out exploring. He tripped over something and fell. Melonir dug it out of the ground. It was an old mailwarp. He turned it over to read the name and nearly fainted. The mailwarp read: The Semin Family. Gardinon, Melonia 13:07, March 2 1998 Melonsy had been hearing some rumors lately, that Melonir was out of the Shadow Jungle. When he first heard the rumor, he didn't believe it. But soon, almost every melon in Melonia was talking about it. It spread across citizens and residents of Melonia like a wildfire. Melonsy was soon forced to believe it was true when a shivering mole spy covered in mossy wet vines bursted into his room and said “We have seen Melonir Mefol outside of the Shadow Jungle.” “AND YOU DIDN’T BRING HIM BACK?!!?” yelled Melonsy. Now the mole was afraid. In a very shaky voice, he said “Sir, we tried to, but… but we ran into a pack of Nazis.” and then stopped to gasp for air. “What region was he last seen in?” said a much calmer Melonsy. “District 4, not far west from the city of Nelen in District 3.” replied a still shaking spy. “Where was he headed?” “North, towards the city of Howlen.” With that, Melonsy left alone, northwest towards the city of Howlen. ????, Melonia 13:43, March 2 1998 Melonir explored some more, found burned up melon treehouses and came to his old house. It was buried in mud and had a tree on top. He dug around and found the glass dome with a 3D portrait of him and his family in it. He looked at it and sighed. He put it in a backpack that was covered with mud that he recovered from his old friend Meplon’s house. He also found some trinkets that he had kept while he was a young melon. He grabbed a rolling pineapple cannon and some ammo from his storage and filled a water skin with well, water from the lake. Then he waited till nightfall, took a nap in his old, burnt bed. It was not comfortable, but it was very heartwarming. ????, Melonia 19:42, March 2, 1998 Melonir sat by his ruined home and looked at the faces of his family. They filled him with sadness and a stronger determination to kill the Nazis. He dug through the rubble and found a picture of him when he was just a baby. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he couldn’t afford to cry now. There was a platoon of Nazis just a hundred yards away. Melonir felt a burst of strength inside him. One of the Nazis, wearing an SS armband, yelled “Vi are taking you hostage! Get up, you smelly creature.” The men laughed. “I’M a smelly creature?” Melonir asked. “Look at yourselves.” with that, he summoned a lightning bolt and blasted them to bits. Nazi motorcycle paratroops began to fall out of the sky. He blasted them with wind and fire, froze them solid, and burned them. With one final yell, he destroyed the planes just as an air defense missile shot up. Melonir brightened up. Because right there, only 20 shobis away, was Polun sitting on a gamma gun turret. Nelen Trails, Melonia 15:47, March 2 1998 “Polun!” Melonir shouted. Polun turned and saw Melonir. “Guys!” he yelled. “Melonir’s here!!!” Melonir’s old squad greeted him rather enthusiastically as Polun called Melonsy. Andrakas the lemon filled him in on what had happened. “So, like, you were gone, and Melonsy was raging, so we, like, named our squad Melonir’s Men,” “AND WOMEN!” yelled Sopher. Melonir remembered her, she had been a combat medic. “YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!” yelled back Andrakas. “So, then we got a report of nazi aircraft, and we came, and then Polun saw you, now here we are!” “What day is it?” Melonir asked. “Oh, it’s Janert the 10th. We’re going on a commando raid in 2 days.” Upon seeing Melonir’s face, he said “Don’t worry, we’d never go without you!” his face turned more serious. He was no longer the fun-loving lemon Melonir had met. “We know how much Froemel means to you.” And that was true. Froemel did mean a lot to Melonir. But was he even alive? Melonir would just have to wait and see. After that they set off north towards the city of Howlen. Howlen, Melonia 00:12, March 3 1998 Melonsy landed his helicopter on top of the Howlen military base. He got out and greeted the mayor of Howlen, Mr. Frelon. They went into his hill house which had a square door with no handle, and lots of little rooms. They sat in the main room and had some Anslush. They chatted and talked for a while until they heard a yell outside and gunfire. They got their weapons out and joined the fight. Trouble seemed to follow Melonsy wherever he went. This was an onslaught of poozers and vomit comets. There were oceans of brown on the ground and seas of green in the sky. Suddenly there was a yell as loud as thunder from the south. Melonsy turned and rolled all across Howlen until he saw Melonir and the “Melonir’s Men” squad. The bumped each other, greeted each other and joined the fight. Melonir blasted out giant explosive pineapples into the waves of poozers and blew hordes of them up. Fighter jets were combatting the vomit comets while infantry with explosive weapons blew holes in the ocean of turds carrying axes. Howlen, Melonia 16:28, March 3, 1998 After the battle, Melonir was sitting in a soft melon bed having his wounds dressed while he told everyone there of his adventure. At the very end, the expressions on their faces ranged from shocked to disbelieving to empathetic. Some said things like “Wow, you’ve been through a lot!” while others said “Hahaha, nice story” while still others said “Really!!?” Melonir then asked for some food. He gobbled up the taco he received in like 30 seconds. Then he asked for another one and ate in 30 seconds again. Then he asked for another one and the same thing happened 3 more times. On the sixth time, Melonsy stopped him. He said “Melonir, this isn’t normal.” “So?” answered Melonir. “So I suggest that you stop eating for a while and see how it goes.” “Okay fine.” After he had finished with the story, other than being quite hungry, he also earned quite a few nicknames and titles. Some of them were the “Drink Master” or the “Jungle Survivor” or even the “Weasel Wrestler” but above all, his fame became widespread and he became a Lollandian hero and was even placed in the Lollandian hall of fame. Lolnarria, Rainbowland 17:47, March 4 1998 After Thomas Lol heard about Melonir's adventures in the forest, he sent a personal invitation to Melonir for a visit to the museum in Lolnarria square with him. Melonir had gladly accepted and so there they were. They strolled through the hall of fame and gazed in awe for a while at Melonir's new portrait. Then Melonir asked Thomas to see the zen scrolls and Thomas reluctantly agreed. He read the scrolls for a while and he found a section in which it said: There lies a sword down in the tomb of the first zen melon. The sword is of power so great that none but he and another could wield it. This phrase grasped Melonir's attention so that he could not stop thinking about it for a long time. Cloud Valley, Melonia 00:00, March 5 1998 Melonir woke with a start. Today was the day of the commando raid on Fort Anschluss. He had an early breakfast of bacon and tacos. Then he went out to the launch area. “Up already?” asked Melonsy. “Yup, up and ready to slaughter some Nazis.” replied Melonir. “Good, good.” They were watching their commando shuttle fully loaded with ASEA radar, ballistic missiles, a deployable Chopper, and a rack of weapons including a 30 inch minigun, a fireball cannon, and a couple Nirv guns. The woke the rest of the commando squad and prepared for launch. “3 … 2 … 1 … Blast off!!!” Space 5:34, March 5 1998 They were travelling at about Warp 5 towards Wasterland. They would arrive in about a minute. In the meantime, Melonir decided for a chocolate bar. He gobbled it up as soon as they got there. As they descended into the atmosphere, the Weapons Room had fired a multitude of flares away from Fort Anschluss. This way, Nazi MiG-29s would follow the flares instead of their plane. The pilot banked steeply into the ground, activating digging shields and plunging into the dry earth. They tunneled 30 meters directly below Fort Anschluss. The raid couldn’t start right then, the Nazis would be on high alert. But in a few days, they could save Froemel and many others. They set up the HQ and had a feast. They all knew that it could be their last. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 8:50, March 5 1998 Melonir sat by the wall of their desert shelter as Jim the Mango commando and Polun tried to use a TunnelScope™ to locate the Prison area. As Melonir watched them, their expressions became harder, until finally Jim fainted. “Water!” yelled Polun. Melonir got up and dunked his canteen on Jim’s head. Jim’s eyes opened. “What was that for!?” he yelled. “You fainted.” replied Andrakas, who had just come in the room. “Oh.” “AND YOU BROKE THE GODDAMN SCOPE!” Jim fainted again. As Melonir slapped him, Polun told Andrakas about the situation. “It is bad.” Polun said simply. “I know that!” Andrakas shouted. “I need specifics!” “Well, we are kind of not close to the main fort...” “Duh.” “And maybe our only safe entry point is in a toilet pipe… ” Then Andrakas fainted, and they had to zap him with a taser to wake him back up. Gardinon, Melonia 11:05, March 7 1998 Melonsy was in town again to discuss strategy for the impending counterattack on Cloud Peak. All this tough crap, and he also had to worry about the commando raid. Melonir’s squad had not yet sent the signal, but that was forgivable, it had only been 3 (Lollandian) days. He wondered if they had enough deadly weapons but was interrupted by a slam on his window. It was another airstrike. Maybe the Nazis were drunk, because the bomb missed by a mile. Wait, no, it was a bunch of kids on their way to school. Some small cantaloupes were launching things that looked like bottle rockets at the bombers. Melonsy felt happier from looking at this, it showed that the population was united, at least in hating the Nazis. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 00:11, March 8 1998 Melonir was crawling into a rather wide sewage pipe. Polun was in front of him because he was tiny and liked destroying things such as pipes. Polun gave the signal to move on, and Melonir heard another loud burst. “And… we’re here!” yelled Polun. Melonir gave the signal to the commando behind him, and hoped that they hadn’t startled some Nazi officers going Number Two. They popped out of the sewers and got their weapons out. No enemies were in the bathroom, so everyone took off their Bio Suits and then changed into their camouflage clothes. The squad made their way into the next room, which turned out to be a machine gun bunker. They were about to destroy the weapons, when a voice rang out. “Arschloch!” yelled a deep German voice. “Manny, are du in zere?” “Ich am finishing up ze vepon check!” yelled Polun, who knew limited German. “NIEN!” yelled the voice. “DU VER SUPPOSED TO BE IN ZE ANTI-AIR AREA! Come out, now!” Everybody was silent, then the officer stepped in and was then hit with a Nirv ray and shot. They forced Jim into a Nazi uniform. It had the markings of a high-ranking officer, which was good, it meant they could order around soldiers to do REALLY stupid things. In order to insure that they wouldn’t accidentally kill him, they gave him a lump of silver to glue to the top of his cap. Jim strutted out, with Polun watching from the door as Melonir vandalised the room and a Zen melon named Mengkrine broke the guns. The corridor was completely deserted, except for Jim. But marked clearly at the end of the hall, was a door marked: ‘Prison. Do not enter unless du are a high-ranking officer or a death camp official.’ Jim signaled, and they opened and walked slowly into the ajar door. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 13:20, March 8 1998 Melonir and his commando squad made Jim take off his uniform once they were in the prison, so they could save prisoners without being attacked. At once, all of the prisoners in the cells perked up. Among them was a melon who looked at Melonir, and it was clear that he had found Froemel. “Melonir!” he yelled. They came together in front of the bars. “We won’t need to pick these locks.” said Melonir. “Stand back!” All the prisoners stood back, as he annihilated the jail bars. Everybody rejoiced in freedom, but it was interrupted by the ominous click of a Luger. The Nazis had come, and there was no way out. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 19:02, March 8 1998 Melonir sat in the rusty cell with Froemel. They had tried to fight the Nazis off, but they had threatened to kill all of the prisoners, who were still weak from the days in the cell. With no other choice, the commando squadron had no choice but to surrender. Their squad was doomed, they could not call for distress… wait, distress! When the mission had started, Melonsy had given him a single-use distress call that he should use when bad things happened. He took it out, prayed, and pressed it. Froemel and Melonir anxiously held their breath… and the SOS flare warped away, presumably into Melonsy’s mailbox. “YES!” yelled Froemel. But they only had 2 Lollandian days… 2 days until they were all sent to a death camp. And it was just 5 Lollandian days, until the top half of Cloud peak would be blown to radioactive bits. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 20:30, March 9 1998 Melonsy quickly flew the Chopper into Fort Anschluss. He got out a rocket launcher, put on his MLG sunglasses, put on his OBEY cap, and blasted a giant hole in the wall. He hopped in, and blasted everything he could see to pieces. Some Nazis with all sorts of deadly weapons came in only to be blown to bits by Melonsy and his bazooka. Melonsy was rolling and hopping around, dodging bullets and blasting half of Fort Anschluss to pieces. He eventually found the prison door. He blasted it down, and blasted the bars to pieces. Everyone rejoiced, again. The prisoners had included Lollandians, Leamarians, Matthewdonians, and Suomis from Suomiland. He hastily ushered them out and blasted the prison so that it collapsed on itself. They then all followed Melonsy’s lead, grabbed Nazi weapons and killed all nearby Nazis. They finally, after parading all around Fort Anschluss and killing Nazis, came to a big door that had no words on it and was made of incredibly strong metal. They blasted it down with some well-placed pineapples, and blew up all the Nazis inside. It was a circular room filled with those primitive Nazi computers. They hacked into the computers and found 7 different nukes. They saw that the 2 biggest ones were for Cloud Peak. They stole the nukes and paraded out of Fort Anschluss. Now the biggest challenge. Getting everyone to Lollandia in time. Chapter 9 Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 23:21, March 9 1998 Melonir was happy for everyone’s freedom, but the bulk of the squad wanted to stay behind for some REALLY good sabotage, so Melonsy and a few others got into the chopper and flew off, leaving three-quarters of the squad behind with an assault jet and a collection of deadly little toys. Nazis flooded into the part of Fort Anschluss where they were hidden for the time being. They were not able to kill the commando squad, but they did get a good hiding from a plasma beam. “That’s what happens when you mess with Lollandians.” said Froemel to the now dead squadron. They sprinted down the hall shooting things randomly, trying to do as much damage as possible. Jim shot at a boiler and it burst, giving them a clear entry point to the main boiler room. As the saboteurs swung up into the pipe, Andrakas left behind a time bomb as a going-away gift. A Zen Melon was the first into the boiler room. She cut down half the soldiers, was felled by a Nazi bullet but was healed quickly. Polun paid them back with an explosive blast so large, the entire wall caved in, which revealed a tank storage room. They blew the Nazis up with pineapples and moved on to the next room. Behind the door were 3 Nazi officers smoking. Just then, Melonir decided to troll them and spewed mist from his capsule, killing the Nazis. A Suomi named Ulf broke down the roof, showering the room with bright red sunlight. They charged headlong into the brightness, blew a hole in some armored cars, and stepped on Nazis. This was actually quite fun. Cloud Peak, Melonia 3:44, March 10 1998 Melonsy’s chopper appeared out of the clear blue sky at Cloud Peak. He was to supervise the building of an enormous garrison. The commandos were helping, a lot. Melonsy felt better, since they had stolen and disarmed all of the nukes. But who knew, they were facing Nazis. They could build a new one… hopefully not. In the meantime, he was building walls to reinforce the Lollandian defences. The mountain was a magnificent sight. The road was defended by raiders and elite moles, with direct missile backup if needed. If there were any paratroops, they would be taken down by snipers. The ridge was lined with bunkers, towers, traps, some razor wire, and more nasty surprises. If the enemy tried to seize the floating island, they would be held back by artillery guns, as well as a squad of formidable zen melons. If all else failed, there was the backup plan, which involved some Soviet Drunken Airstrikes™ and could kill the Nazis easily. It could also destroy half of the floating island, and block up the road with rubble. But in a world like this, well… whatever. He then went inside for some Anslush. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 4:41, March 10 1998 Melonir was running along Fort Anschluss’s walls after a lengthy period of sabotage. They had destroyed walls, broken down doors, and buried a bunch of landmines in the sand for fun. The squad was being chased along the walls by a squad of Nazis. Polun sent a missile after them, which blew up the nearest service ladder. Jim hucked projectiles into the midst of Nazis from the walls, as Andrakas blasted pineapples into buildings. “GET ZEM!” yelled a deep voice. It was a Nazi first lieutenant who had brought a tank battalion. BAM! All the tanks were wrecked by Melonir’s zen lightning blast, which also seemed to have opened an extremely large hole in the wall. The squad fished out their most explosive time bomb, set it to 2 minutes, and ran to their chopper. As the assault craft flew into the air to prepare for warpspeed, there was an extremely satisfying explosion behind them. Melonir got a megaphone, aimed the sound cannon, and played obnoxious MLG music as this was all unfolding. “This is the most satisfying getaway we’ve ever made!” yelled Polun. And none of them could contradict that. Lollandian Outer Atmosphere 4:45, March 10 1998 The assault jet rapidly slowed to Mach 2, quickly descending into the Lollandian atmosphere. Melonir’s blood-soaked squad watched as the pilot maneuvered nimbly to land at the Cloud Peak airbase. Melonsy rolled over to greet them. “Hiya, mate!” said Melonir. “What’s up?” Melonsy asked him about how his sabotage went. The conversation went like this: “What did you blow up?” “Too much things to count.” “Ok… did you use all the ammo?” “Yes, and we broke the jet’s left engine.” “You little…” “Shut up, you two. We need to work on the defence.” “Alright, Polun.” said Melonsy. “Let’s check it out!” It was actually going well. Melonir hadn’t thought that he could actually be cheered up any more, but his worries of a destroyed Cloud Peak evaporated at the sight of moles digging trenches and tunnels, ballkind, such as Poles, were shoring up the barricades. Melonir was pretty sure that he saw Andrakas, driving around in a Trailblazer M64, yelling at everybody to work harder while some Soviets and humans were placing what looked like REALLY nasty traps. He, Polun, and Melonsy wandered among the garrison, occasionally helping to build earthworks and Melonir saw Froemel arming a missile battery. He felt just a bit happier then. But it was not to be… Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 12:18, March 10 1998 Zadolf Zitler stormed into the Nazi command room with, well, a stormy look on his face. “Vat happened?” he asked the Nazi colonel in the room. “Vell, zat melon, Melonir, and his squad of dimwits, zey may have blown up half of our infrastructure.” Zitler drew a Luger. “Nien, Zadolf, please!” the colonel yelled. But to no avail, for Zitler’s enraged shots killed almost everyone in the room. “Build another nuke.” he said to his scientists. “But, sir, ve have almost no uranium!” one of the scientists replied. “Vell, zen do your best.” barked Zitler furiously. “Ich vant Cloud Peak totally vaporised.” Cloud Peak, Melonia 15:33, March 10 1998 Melonir and Froemel sat on a rock drinking some Slushy, as it was their break. “Do you think the Nazis will get past us?” asked Froemel. “Nah.” Melonir replied. “Look at all this!” By that, he meant the very powerful and deadly garrison. Just then, Melonsy came up to them with a worried look on his face. “Melonir and Froemel, I need you two for something.” Froemel asked what they had to do. “Well,” said Melonsy, “There are still over 600000 enemy troops in the valley. What do you think I’m asking you to do?” A whirlwind of possibilities went through Melonir’s head, most of them involving lightning and/or explosives. But Froemel answered first. “Are you saying we have to take them down?” he said. “Why, yes.” replied Melonsy. “Also, I would appreciate it if you, say, um… how do I put this… interrupt their battle preparation.” “Sure!” the two friends said. And with that, they got into an attack vehicle, strapped on their heavy weapons, and burned rubber down the mountainside road. Cloud Valley, Melonia 17:12, March 10 1998 Melonir grabbed his minigun and joined Froemel in the reeds. Froemel was holding a rocket launcher and had a backpack full of rockets. They spied on the camp for a while then drew a map. They then blasted in from behind. Melonir killed Nazis while Froemel blew things up. Some Nazis tried to rally against them but were blown to pieces by Froemel and his rocket launcher instead. The camp was burned down and no survivors appeared to have remained. They called Melonsy for the successful destruction of a camp. Behind them, a group of SS guards fired at them. One of their shots hit Melonir square in the back. It steamed and hurt like hell. Froemel returned a barrage of bullets from Melonir's minigun, and the guards lay dead on the ground. More soldiers poured in and Melonir decided to get back safely. He fired his gr-apple gun and blasted supercharged air at the Nazis, stunning them. Then he and Froemel took off with their vertical harnesses. But the enemy was still around them. For what was it? The 10th time this week? Anyhow, they were in enemy territory, again. Melonir hit the emergency transmitter, and Froemel looked at his back. It was smoking and red-hot. He didn’t think that bullets were supposed to do that. Froemel fed him some medicine and patched up his wound a little bit, but he was not the best doctor. They knew that the only reason he was alive was because he was a zen melon. Anyone else would have probably burned up by now. Just then, a chopper appeared out of the sky with Polun and Andrakas. “What the heck happened?” asked Polun. “Melonsy called us in.” “Melonir’s hurt!” yelled Froemel. Another more advanced zen melon came over and shook his head. “This is from his time in the shadow forest.” he said grimly. “Alfred Lol was only in there for a few hours, and he nearly died.” Suddenly, a flash of memory appeared in Melonir’s mind. It was the passage he’d read in the zen scrolls before. Froemel seemed to detect his thoughts. “Maybe,” he said, “we could go into the first zen melon’s tomb and find the zen sword. Maybe that’ll bring back his strength!” “You’re nuts!” yelled Polun. “Who would even think about wielding the sword!?” He was going to get into the chopper, but a mole stopped him. “It’s his only chance.” said the mole. “We need him.” Merlonnia, Melonia 20:33, March 10 1998 The chopper descended down onto the helipad on the Merlonnia military base. The crew found from the mayor that the entrance of the tomb had been lost somewhere in the jungle at the edge of the bustling metropolis. They searched for several days and eventually found a large cave covered in moss and vines. The entrance was blocked. They tried to use tools, but the blades and points just snapped off on contact. Melonir even tried his zen. Finally, they only had one thing left to try, walking into it. It sounded very stupid but they tried it. No one could do it, and at last, Melonir tried. He rolled back and hurled himself at it as hard as he could. He went through the vines and somehow, slipped right through the rocky barrier. Everyone else stared in wonder at the wall. They reported it immediately to Melonsy. Melonsy came over and tried to break through, but to no avail. During all this, Melonir found that he was in a new stone room. Perfectly circular and polished with no flaws whatsoever. Suddenly, the floor dropped and a crack just big enough for him to fit through appeared. He squeezed through and he was now in a maze of ice, mirrors, and glass. The air chilled and the floor was freezing cold. He rolled through as quick as he could and found the exit on his first try. He was in what appeared as the first circular room. The floor dropped again and the same crack appeared in what seemed like the same place again. He jumped through but this time, he was in a octagonal room of doors. He read the sign standing in front of him. It said: “Through 7 doors you will find certain death, through one, you will find glory. Pick wisely, my child.” Melonir focused his energy and tried to see through the doors. But he could only find greyness and nothing else. He then decided that his only option was to pick randomly. He opened on and voilà! Another circular room. Wow, I sure am lucky today. He thought. 5 more different challenges happened and Melonir solved all of them perfectly. In the 8th circular room, the crack glowed and when Melonir hopped through there was a blinding flash of light and everything was gone. Merlonnia, Melonia 1:12, March 11 1998 When Melonir woke up, he saw that he was inside a vast room of marble, filled with jewels and scrolls. On the walls, beautiful artwork hung. The light in which he saw these things seemed to come from everywhere. But there was one place where the light seemed to be brighter. He moved closer and saw the floating shimmering outline of a sword and scabbard. Melonir moved closer, taking care not to touch anything else. He was now directly in front of the sword. It was a beautiful sword with a shining steel handle, diamonds set the hilt, and the blade appeared to be made of rainbow andantanium. He was afraid, but it was his only chance. He bumped the sword. Suddenly, a blinding pain hit his body, and he writhed around on the floor. Sorry… he thought. Sorry I can’t make it back. But the pain subsided after a few minutes. The sword glowed, and he could feel the strength coming back into him. A Melon’s spirit appeared above the tip of the sword. It looked down at him. Ah, you must be Melonir Mefol. It said. “Yes? Maybe?” Don't be afraid. I have been waiting for you for thousands of years. “Who are you?” Why I am the spirit of the first zen melon. “So this is your sword?” It used to be. But now it belongs to you. You are the “other” from the scrolls. “So I was the chosen one?” Yes. “Wow.” You might have been wondering how you got past all those challenges perfectly. “How?” Every challenge’s dead ends lead to certain death. You were able to run through the rock because you were chosen. You got past every challenge because you were chosen. “So I have control over this?” Yes. And now my job has changed from guarding my tomb, to guarding and guiding you. So with that, it flew into the diamond hilt and both the sword and the glimmering leather scabbard fell to the ground and the room crumbled to mossy, stony pieces. Merlonnia, Melonia 3:33, March 11 1998 The mossy rock crumbled before their eyes as more mining and blasting reinforcements arrived. And a strong and healthy Melonir stood there. He was holding a magnificent sword in a shining scabbard. He took the sword out and it's blade shone in the sunlight but not the kind of harsh glow from mirrors or glass. It was more of a hue than a glow. Everyone was shocked beyond measure. They were totally mesmerized by the sword and the slightly glowing Melonir. After they had stopped gaping at Melonir and his sword, Polun asked “How did you get that?” Melonir told them and after that, they stared disbelievingly for twice as long as before. Eventually Melonsy gathered the courage to call a chopper to come and take Melonir to Cloud Peak. Cloud Peak, Melonia 7:43, March 11 1998 Melonir was sitting in his wooden room at Cloud Peak telling his master about his journey when suddenly a voice boomed from the sword. I am now your guide. I will teach you how to harness the power of the sword. Melonir talked for a few more minutes and then dismissed his master. He then took the sword down to the rocky training grounds and started training. He learned a few new techniques and how to harness some of the power in the sword but that was just the beginning. Some of his new abilities included forgery (powerful dark magic), wind conjure (again, powerful dark magic), and long strike (long ranged slicing). Cloud Peak, Melonia 16:14, March 11 1998 Melonsy was sending Melonir on a commando raid. AGAIN. They had assembled a commando squad that consisted of Melonir, a mango medic named Jimmy, two mango commando brothers named John and Gohn, Froemel, Polun, and Andrakas. This was not to destroy but for reconnaissance. The plan was to break in through the pipes and sneak past Nazis and kill them if necessary. They would then find the nuke room and find their plans and then mail it to Melonsy. Then they would sneak back out and come back to Lollandia. He practiced until he felt reasonably familiar with it. But he knew that it might not be enough to fend off the attack. He decided that if he lived through the battle, he’d ask Melonsy to give him 30 lills. Or maybe more, because he wanted a new holophone. But… whatever. He could deal with that later. Think about the present. He chided himself. You might not live long enough to think about the future. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 16:44, March 11 1998 “All clear!” yelled Gohn back down the sewer pipe. They were going in from the bathrooms again, so as soon as they were locked in a stall, they changed into camo outfits just as the door banged open. Melonir charged out and shot the Nazi. They dragged him into a stall and rifled through his pockets, but found nothing rather useful. “I have an idea.” Froemel said. “We could let out a few blank gunshots to attract the Nazis’ attention, then we run into the nuke room.” “That sounds good.” Polun said. As it turned out, it was not so easy. Froemel fired a blank distractor charge into the officer’s lounge, and John let off a tunnel charge to blow up a room 50 shobis down the hallway. Just then, some Nazi lieutenants ran out of the lounge and saw them. Melonir shot them dead, but they’d already pressed the emergency button. In seconds, the SS would be upon them. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 17:12, March 11 1998 Melonir and his squad sprinted down the hall into the laboratory area. There, they blasted the door open and shot all the Nazis inside. Then they locked and barricaded the door. They used some Lollandian hacking skills to break into the database, and presto! They were in. They emailed all the plans to Melonsy, but when they tried to get out, there was a gunshot noise, a bang and a voice saying: “Ve know zat du are in zere. Come out or else…” The group stopped dead. “Or else what!?” Melonir yelled. “Vi would rather not tell ju.” The voice replied: “Have du noticed zat dur friend is not vith du?” Everyone looked around. Where was Polun? Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 19:54, March 11 1998 Melonir thought of all the dreadful things that could have happened to Polun. He worried for his friend. He might have been tricked, taken hostage, or killed. He didn’t reply to the Nazis for the moment. He whispered to his squad “psst. Do any of you happen to have brought a Time bomb?” Luckily, Andrakas had one. They set the time bomb up, prepared their guns, stood back and yelled “We'll come out alright!” The bomb exploded, destroying the door and killing a few Nazis. The squad ran out, shooting Nazis in the head and killing every undead thing in front of the door. They found a rather large squirming and hopping bag. Inside was Polun. They wanted to know how Polun got in the bag but first the they had to get out. They found a grenade in one of the Nazis pockets. They blew the wall up and ran out. Then Melonir sent out the distress signal and Melonsy was there faster than you could say Lollandian Chopper. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 23:31, March 11 1998 The chopper was lifting off when some Nazis air defence forces spotted the sandy orange chopper door close and the chopper disappear. They could still see the shimmering defracted outline of the chopper in the sky, however. The Nazis shot the stolen Lollandian surface to air homing missile. Melonsy saw and tried to fire off some flares. But the button wasn’t working! He told everyone to parachute off and run. He made a couple sharp turns and then activated the evacuation procedure. The seat rocketed out of the helicopter and crash landed in the dunes. Melonir watched as the chopper was blown to blazing chunks of metal. He was stranded, alone in the blazing hot Nazi deserts. Fort Anschluss was now but a flat block of metal and stone on the distant horizon. No one was to be seen and he had no supplies at all. He started to slowly roll to the flat and desolate crash site. Cloud Peak, Melonia 23:59, March 11 1996 (Zero Hour) “Melonir and his team should be here by now.” said a very worried Lemon-Melon. “Might there have been an accident?” Suddenly, a patrol ran into the command tent. “Not good, sir!” said the leader. “The Nazis are attacking.” “Shoot.” Lemon-Melon muttered under his breath. “In any case, I am supreme commander. Send out Spec Ops 3 and 4, you guys wreak havoc among the ranks. The rest of us will fan out. Prevent them from taking this tent at all costs! I don’t care how you stop them, but stop them.” Lemon-Melon grabbed his rocket launcher(s) and ran out the door. Chapter 10 Cloud Peak, Melonia 1:33, March 12 1998 The battle was currently at a stalemate. Dragons, cubelets, and other Lollandians all fought like demons. But the Nazis were just as powerful. Lollandians and Nazis alike fell to the ground. It looked bad. “Activate emergency power!” Lemon-Melon yelled to his lieutenants. “Are you sure?” they asked. “Yes, I am sure.” Lemon-Melon replied. “Activate the goddamn defense if you value the lives of everyone around you!” The lieutenant pulled the lever, and the full power of Zen Melons was unleashed. But then, a report came in that paled everyone’s faces and made Lemon-Melon drop all of his guns, which was surprising, since he was holding at least 10. “Calling Cloud Peak. The Nazis are nuking at 6:00. We repeat, 6:00.” Cloud Valley, Melonia 1:50, March 12 1998 The Cloud Peak zen melons fought like demons, unleashing blasts of lightning, hurricanes, whirlwinds, and a firestorm. Lollandians didn’t give up, no matter what the odds. Melonir’s old classmate, Malon, cut up some tanks with his wind blade and Lemon-Melon blew up platoons with his 10 guns. The defense force would not let Cloud Peak be destroyed. Never. A squad of Nazis was obliterated with a tornado, and slowly, the tanks and soldiers alike began to fall back. But that wasn’t it. More armies of Nazis slowly poured over the ridge. What were they going to do? Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 2:31, March 12 1998 “Guys!” Melonir yelled. “You there?” “Melonir!” yelled a voice. It was Melonsy, together with Froemel and Polun. “Are you guys OK?” Melonir asked. “Never mind that.” said Polun. “Where is everyone?” “I think we all scattered after the crash.” said Melonir. “We gotta get back to Lollandia ASAP!” “But how the hell do we make a plane? We can’t do that, much less make a spacecraft!” yelled Melonsy. “There’s no such thing as impossible.” replied Melonir. “First we find everyone. Then we build a rocket.” They searched around the desert for survivors. They called but no one replied. Suddenly, from across the dunes there came a faint but still audible shout. “MELONSY? MELONIR?” The four survivors noticed a small humanoid shape on the horizon. When they rolled closer, they noticed that it was Gohn, one of the commandos that had come with them. He was limping and said that John, the second commando, had died from an infected wound. The survivors then walked around looking for resources and other survivors. Luckily Melonsy had brought a gallon of water off of the chopper that they took turns carrying and drinking little sips out of. They soon recovered the body of the medic which had been shot by Nazis and Andrakas, who died from a wound that had come from a giant flaming chunk of metal that used to be part of the blown up Chopper. They gathered the three bodies and grabbed pieces of metal from the helicopter and started slowly but surely assembling the rocket. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 3:44, March 12 1998 “And… done!” yelled Melonir. In about an hour, using zen skills and scrap metal, they had achieved a rocket (hopefully) capable of space travel. But, they still had armor and zen if anything went wrong. So Melonsy and Froemel loaded their supplies onto the makeshift rocket, and they flew… momentarily, which was ended by a jarring crash on the dunes. “Told ya.” said Melonsy. “Shut up!” yelled Melonir. “I’ll get us out of here, just you wait!” He drew his sword and began to slice metal. Suddenly, the sword hummed to life. Melonir. “WAUGH!” yelled Melonir. “My sword is talking again!” Melonir. MELONIR. Calm down. “OK, what is it, sword?” Actually, could you call me Timmy? “OK, you little-Timmy!” “Uh, Melonir?” asked Polun. “Are you OK?” “OK!?” Melonir shot back. “My sword is yelling at me to call him Timmy!” Polun chose not to ask what just happened, and Melonir kept talking to his sword. “Ok, Timmy, can you just give me a hint as to how to get back to Lollandia?” A hint? Well then, here goes. Melonir, I understand that your whole life, you’ve been alone. I also know that you could have been worse off. You have found precious friends, haven’t you, Melonir? Well, always remember… 2 melons are better than 1. “Thanks, Timmy.” Melonir said sarcastically. But, as he started to think about that, he got an idea that just might work. “Guys!” he said. “Yeah?” said Froemel. “Listen, I have a plan.” replied Melonir. As he said his idea, everyone’s eyes became wide with shock, but then became natural again. They all knew what he was capable of. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 4:01, March 12 1998 “Ready?” asked Melonir. “Ready.” said Froemel. “Alright then… GO!!!” Melonir drove his sword into the ground as Froemel channeled energy into a rock. The sword began to glow painfully brightly , and the two friends entered into hell. Well, it looked like hell. The sky was dark and the moon was crimson, and everything looked covered in blood. Across the field, a light began to pulse, and grew into the shape of a melon. It was the first of all zen melons, right before them. “Ah, my new disciples of zen. I have chosen you two to come here at some point.” “Chose us to come for what?” asked Melonir. “A test to master the power of the sword, of course.” “The power of the sword?” asked Froemel. “Yes, it is a very serious test. Treat it as you would your finals. When you take it, more than just your life could be on the line. Now, I must ask you… do you accept?” Froemel and Melonir looked at each other and said: “YES!” The wrinkled old melon smiled. “I once had a disciple just as skilled and enthusiastic, if not more skilled, than you 2. He also took the test. He failed and perished. This is not a test you can do on your own. It requires the bonding of 2 souls.” Cloud Peak, Melonia 4:17, March 12 1998 Lemon-Melon was panicking. There were less than 2 hours until the nuking, Melonsy and Melonir were nowhere to be seen, and there were thousands of Nazis in the valley. He had no idea what to do even though he had an army of hundreds of zen and elite melons and moles. Suddenly, a message rung in and Lemon-Melon answered it. “Hello?” “Is this supreme commander Lemon-Melon the 12th?” “Yeah, what?” “This is the Melonian Regional Institute of Science and Technology calling to let you know that we have developed a new prototype weapon by channeling Flop crystals into solid beams of pure plasma-antimatter destruction that can vaporize even the toughest enemies in seconds. However, it’s one use only.” Lemon-Melon’s eyes widened. He said: “Bring me this prototype. NOW.” Fort Anschluss, Wasterland ???, March 12, 1998 Melonir and Froemel stood on the crimson field with the first zen melon, waiting for the test to begin. “So?” asked Froemel. “We can’t wait forever!” the first zen melon said “Patience, my friend. With frustration only comes destruction.” Suddenly, a giant glowing crack appeared in the ground, stretching as far as the eye could see. They all fell into the blinding abyss. Melonir felt burning, searing, indescribable pain. He felt something enter him and he hit the ground with a head-splitting crash. ???, ??? ???, ???, ??? Melonir rolled onto his bottom. The force that he had just felt should have killed him at any rate, but he found himself feeling another presence inside himself. He was standing in the middle of a completely blank white space. He saw the first zen melon hovering on a cloud of mist beside him. They both seemed to glow gold. Out of the blankness of the place, a HUGE (as Donald Trump says it) dragon like creature with flaming, blinding armour that looked like it would vaporize basically anything that touched it. The first zen melon offered Melonir a standard looking sword and whispered “Good luck, young masters.” before he vanished into smoke. Wait, masters, plural? thought Melonir. The dragon blasted searing hot white fire at him. He rolled aside without thinking and thought Whoa, did that actually just happen? He focused absolutely all of his energy into the double edged sword and rolled toward the dragon at top speed. He rolled up the dragon’s neck and felt sharp pain. It was corroding him! He grunted and channeled his energy into his blade, and sliced the dragon’s head off. “Take that!” he yelled, but then stopped. It was putting itself back together! He was never good at analyzing, but now he felt a presence within him. Hey, let me take over. “Froemel!?” he gasped. Duh. He sealed us together, but it probably won’t last. “OK Froemel, I’m switching!” Melonir felt himself losing control of the body as Froemel raised the sword. Don’t lose! Thought Melonir. The fused melons faced the dragon on the blank plain. They channeled their energy into the sword and threw it into the dragon's mouth. They channeled the energy from themselves into the sword that was about to be vaporized. It blew up and the dragon dissipated into thin air. The first zen melon appeared beside the fused melon (Froemelonir) and said “Well done, my disciples. You have now learned how to work together in one body. That was a very good warm-up.” Warm-up? thought Froemelonir. Cloud Valley, Melonia 5:02, March 12 1998 A huge hover truck rumbled into the cloud valley with at least 20 troops guarding it. Lemon- Melon saw it, ran into the base, dropped his weapons and ran to the truck, opened up the back and found about 5 turrets each the size of about two compact cars. He also found a box the width of a double door. Inside, there were lots of spheres each the size of a rat. When the truck reached base, it unloaded and the Lollandians mounted the turrets on walls and in holes. The Lollandians in the field received the news and withdrew into the base. 4 of the turrets worked like charms, blasting persistent beams of destruction that vaporized Nazis and Dumbo Jumbos alike. The 5th one melted down and killed 2 Lollandian troops. It was two very painful melting deaths. The Lollandians waited for the Nazis to charge into the valley for an hour or two and they got bored. Suddenly, a fleet of Focke-Wulf Fw 191 bombers were seen high up in the bright blue Lollandian sky. The nuking! The Lollandian troops jumped into their turrets and started blasting upwards. Some of them missed, fell, and vaporized small sections of the mountain. 5 out of the seven jets were melted mid-air but the remaining 2 zoomed toward Cloud peak at Mach 1.5. Suddenly, a flash of lightning burst out of one of the shrines, making one of the jets fall out of the sky. Then, a wall of fire appeared, surrounding the shrines. The remaining jet flew right through, melting the metal shell. It was pulled down and KA-BLOOEY!!! ???, ??? ???, ???, ??? Froemelonir had finished the warm-up. Now came the real test. The first zen melon appeared beside him and said “Good luck.”, then vanished into thin air. They were trapped in a room with 12 doors that looked the same, except each one had a different picture on it. A sign stood nearby. It said: “11 doors hold certain death whilst the remaining one holds blazing fire. Dare pass through and the next hint shall come to you.” This looks like a code. Melonir thought. “I know.” said Froemel aloud. “I always got first marks in cryptology class, dude.” Froemelonir inspected the pictures. They looked to be symbols of the zodiac. He thought for a moment… they were both born in the year of sky. He spotted the cloud symbol on door 5. He asked Melonir aloud “Should I?” Melonir said “Ok, but if this does not work… ” Froemelonir rolled over and opened the door. He saw the blazing blue fire leap out and try to grab him with it’s long glowing tendrils. He leaped back and rolled through. He felt the heat trying to burn his shell through. He felt his eyes burning in the grill of a room. The door closed. Closed! Froemelonir closed his eyes and closed his mind. Both minds. For a moment, he was impervious to all thoughts, feelings and senses. When he opened his eyes and mind after what seemed like an eternity, he was sitting on a magnificent landscape of clouds. It looked even more beautiful than Rainbowland. Most of them were cumulonimbus and cumulus clouds. He saw cirrus clouds streaking the sky above. Suddenly, a giant cumulonimbus cloud started to change shape. It shifted into what looked like the universe’s most deformed snake. But it wasn’t done. It continued shifting until it became a giant serpent with wings. All the clouds were slowly sucked around it until it wasn’t just a cloud snake with wings. It was an electrifying tornado of a serpent with a tongue three times as long as Froemelonir himself. The sky and void beneath began to darken alike. A giant noise like thunder boomed “WHO DARES ENTER MY REALM!?!?” The serpent looked down at Froemelonir. It spat, without much effort, a giant lightning bolt at him. The cloud underneath him was vaporized. Froemelonir, amazingly, was not harmed. The serpent cursed under it’s breath. Froemelonir hovered in place. Melonir thought to Froemel I'll take him. Froemel thought back. Ok, fine. Melonir thought of elementa classes back at Cloud peak. He scored a 10. Froemel scored 6. He was much better than Froemel here. Fire beats nature, nature beats water, and water beats fire. This must be a water type monster. He thought. He summoned vines out of the fused melon. He shot them at the serpent. They were ripped off and he was almost pulled into the tornado snake. He thought of more advanced elements and remembered the full cycle. Lightning beats rock, rock beats ice, ice beats water, water beats fire, fire beats nature, nature beats air, air beats lightning. This creature was both air and lightning. This was getting tough. He had already figured out that nature would not work. He tried lightning. That only seemed to make the beast that was feasting on nearby clouds stronger. He tried fire but that was blown away immediately. Water blasted right back at him, rock was blasted to smithereens and blown into dust. Ice made the air colder and chilled Froemelonir past the shell. He only had one more option. Air. He blew with as much force as he could. Froemel helped Melonir too. The snake noticed and started thrashing. It was blown and pushed and shoved. It’s lightning was deflected. It finally collapsed with a roar longer and louder than any thunderstorm either of them had ever heard or seen. It was spun and scattered, zapping lightning bolts everywhere. Froemelonir closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he was in a empty white void. Cloud valley, Melonia 8:49, March 12 1998 After the explosion, everyone looked around. Everything seemed intact and no one was hurt. Some people were in comas and others fainted but everything seemed fine. Lemon-Melon looked up at Cloud peak. Some clouds by magic formed the words We're fine. Lemon-Melon breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly, Nazis charged from both flanks and from their own camp. The startled Lollandians hopped onto their turrets and charged forth. Nazis were vaporized and melted as Lollandians were shot and wounded and slaughtered. They were being quickly outnumbered. Lemon-Melon and the other Lollandians were panicking. Suddenly, Lemon-Melon had an idea. He called all Lollandian troops back to base while the Nazis were trying to smash the force field to pieces, he handed the Lollandians flamethrowers and riot shields and put them in a linear formation like a wall. They charged forward, roasting Nazis and trampling them too. Their shields defended from the bullets and knives of the Nazis. Soon, all the invading Nazis had either been killed or had fled. The flamethrower troops went back into base. Suddenly, Nazis attacked again, this time in renewed numbers. The force field was reactivated and the wall of flames reformed. Instead though, this time Lemon-Melon decided to try something different. Instead of flaming ethanol though, he decided to try liquid nitrogen. After he had that set up, the force field was deactivated and Lollandians ran out, freezing and bashing Nazis to pieces. But then, more Nazis charged out of the base, and the Lollandians slowly fell back and were killed one by one. Suddenly, when there seemed to be less Lollandians than ever, lightning sniped down from the mountain, cracking the walls of the Nazi base. Fireballs were shot and Nazis killed. Zen melons flew down and blasted Nazis to pieces. The Lollandians regrouped and attacked, harder than ever. Nazis, Poozers, and Dumbo Jumbos were killed here and there and the Lollandians charged forth. The gates of the Nazis base closed, and the walls were strengthened and it became an impenetrable fortress, nor from air or ground or even underground. The Lollandians were forced to return and stay in base afterwards. ???, ??? ???, ???, ??? “Heh, heh, heh” said a voice. Froemelonir shivered at the sound of it. It said “Hello, Froemel and Melonir. I've been waiting for you two for eternity.” Froemelonir did not like the sound of this thing at all. “Now, back to business. What was I saying? Oh yes. I could say a lot, but because I’m going to be nice, here is my point. You’re going to die.” Suddenly, Froemelonir saw an illusion of Nazi commander Erich Manstein. Then he saw the commander open a hole that looked exactly like the inside of Froemel’s prison cell inside the void. He pulled out a gun, and shot a suddenly appearing Jonathan Vinus. Vinus died. Then the commander blew a whistle and a battalion of Nazis and Dumbo Jumbos appeared. Both Froemel and Melonir were terrified out of their minds. It felt like somebody went searching inside the deepest, darkest corners of their minds and yanked the very living nightmares out of their minds, and broadcasted it live to them. The white turned into black, and was it just them, or did the Nazis and Dumbo Jumbos become more real? Fire blazed behind the battalion. Melonir finally gained the courage to summon a lightning bolt. It seemed bigger than usual ones. He blasted it with all of his strength towards the army. It went straight through all of the Nazis and Dumbo Jumbos. Melonir’s terror redoubled, and so did the realisticness of the officer and the Nazis. Suddenly, Froemel had an idea. I know what he is trying to do. Thought Froemel to Melonir. He is trying to feast off of each of our fears. You focus on the prison cell and battalion of Nazis, I’ll focus on the burning forest and the dead melon, ok? Just don’t look at the commander, alright? Ok, thought Melonir. They each focused on the things that they weren’t afraid of. The illusions began to slowly fade away. Eventually, everything except for the battalion faded away. The battalion was faded, but still visible and clearly not an illusion now. It charge forward. Froemelonir panicked and shot a lightning bolt straight through the Nazi ranks, vaporizing at least 20 Nazis in one shot. Melonir had aimed it, so he thought to Froemel I’ll take the battalion. You stay in the body and watch me. He blasted flames nonstop at the army of approaching Nazis. A row of Nazis was incinerated. Then another, and another, and another. Slowly, the battalion shrunk, but not quick enough. It was less than 3 metres away when Melonir when he decided to finish the rest of them off. He blasted a lightning bolt that leaped, killed and spread from one Nazi to another. Soon, the whole battalion was in oblivion. The voice that they heard from before yelled and was destroyed. Suddenly, they 2 separate melons and were back in the hellfield. The first zen melon appeared next to them and said “Heh, heh, heh. Well done my disciples. Now, I want to tell you two about why you succeeded. You were able to work together. My first disciple, skilled and intelligent as he was, could not understand the importance of teamwork. He was offered a chance to do the test with a fellow student. He turned the offer down. He killed the other melon. He took the test himself but failed the very last task. He could not figure out what was going on, and was consumed by the creature that you just destroyed.” “What was his name?” asked Froemel. “Ah, well it is better that you do not know. I will now leave you with the power of the sword. My spirit shall now leave this world to a place that no Lollandian knows or ever shall know, as my duty is over. Farewell, wherever you fare, my disciples, and now is my time to say my final goodbye, good and fair friends.” said the first zen melon, and with that, his wispy form was blown away and Froemel and Melonir standing back on the desert sands with their friends Melonsy and Polun. Fort Anschluss, Wasterland 9:00, March 12, 1998 Melonir and Froemel explained all of their adventures to Melonsy and Polun who listened with shock and awe. When they finished at last, Melonir and Froemel decided to test the sword’s power. They wanted to get back to Lollandia via magical sword. They thrust the sword into the ground and suddenly, they were standing and the very top of Cloud Peak. They looked down. They could see all of the valley. They saw 2 Lollandian bases and about 4 Nazi bases. The Nazi bases were actually supposed to be one big base. This base was fortified from every single side. It looked like a giant closed fortress of stone and metal. He and Froemel picked up the other two and flew them down into the Lollandian bases. When Lemon-Melon saw them, he stopped yelling at a human to shut up and turned around and rejoiced. He told them of the events and everything that had happened lately. Melonsy told Lemon-Melon about what happened at Fort Anschluss and Froemelonir’s adventures and gave a motivational speech to the soldiers and medics and everybody there. Suddenly, The Nazi fort was opened and Nazis flooded out. Nazi fighter jets and bombers flew above, streaking the sky with pollution. The zen melons, elite melons, elite moles, mango knights, mango warriors, mango masters, and mango medics alike charged forward, lead by Melonir and Froemel wielding their sword which they had cloned to provide the same power in combat but not as much usefulness in other areas of zen. Planes were launched and blown up by turrets. Melonir and Froemel used their swords to slash and vaporise Nazis. Nothing seemed to harm them. They charged forward, killing everything in their path. Soon, Nazis swayed and dodged out of their way as they approached, rolling towards Fort Anschluss. Melonir became a blazing ball of fire rolling down a dry field, burning and running over Nazis on his way towards the Fort. Froemel transformed into a tempest tornado, sucking in Nazis and throwing them miles off into the distance and zapping them with lightning. Soon, they reached the entrance of the fort and smashed through, killing Nazis and Poozers on their way in. More Lollandian troops charged in, trampling things and destroying everything. The base was completely destroyed in minutes, and then you could not see a single Nazi for thousands of miles. Cloud valley, Melonia 14:15, March 18, 1998 Days after the end of the battle of Cloud peak, Melonsy called for a feast and a funeral. At the feast, Melonir sat to Melonsy’s right and Froemel sat to his left. The feast was held in a splendid giant hall in the parliament. Everyone was talking about their successes and adventures. They talked of old times, politics, economics, and of course, slaughtering Nazis. Melonir talked to people about all of his strange adventures and Froemel talked to them about his time in the Nazi prison, which scared the living hell out of everyone except for Melonir and himself. After that, they all gathered for the funeral for all who fought and died bravely against the Nazis. The living still outnumbered the dead though, and after the long funeral, most people returned to their normal lives as many of those who fought were volunteers (such as Melonir), but other troops were transferred to the battle of Pumpkilore which had grown so large, that it was know as the great battle of Pumpkinia. Melonir was sent to fight and destroy Nazis, while Fromel was sent to guide and recruit zen melons in Pumpkinia. Little did either of them know, that they would eventually meet a pumpkin that would be a key tool in winning the great battle; Pumpy Pipeil. End of book 1 PSST… HEY PEOPLE!! Here’s a quick sneak peek of the Book 2: The Great Battle of Pumpkinia!!! Pumpkilore, Pumpkinia 9:48, April 15, 1998 Pumpy jumped into the giant armoured vehicle waiting for him just outside, not knowing why Pumpiloiner was sending him to the Cloud Valley, some 5000 miles away. He explained the directions to Monlor, who was sitting in the driver’s seat of the giant camo jeep. They used the quick- warp option in the hover-jeep and landed instantly on a plateau about 200 metres wide. It overlooked a green and partly barren valley, with the sounds of machinery and bugs and birds from below. They warped to the bottom of the valley, almost running over a minion on his afternoon walk. “HEY!!! WATCH IT THERE OR I’M GONNA RIP YOUR CAR’S PUNY ENGINE OUT!” he yelled. Monlor did a u-turn and said to Pumpy “Well, someone certainly doesn’t have anger issues.” They drove over to the road and went to the command base in the middle of the valley. They politely entered and found governor of Melonia, Melonsy Mecler. He knew that they were apparently looking for experienced reinforcements and sent lots of troops that had fought in the battle of Cloud Peak back with them. Right before they warped back, Pumpy yelled into the sky at the Rainbowlandian clouds and said “ZADOLF ZITLER, HERE WE COME!!!” When trouble comes knocking on the doorstep of the tallest mountain in the solar system of a 150 year long war… Melonir Mefol hates Nazi zombies. After all, the Lollandians have been had a war with them for over a century. But everything changes when his friends and family are forever lost to the brutal and horrifying Nazis. Learn about all of Melonir’s military and zen adventures in this fast- paced, action packed adventure, complete with strange and funny antics, powerful friends, evil monsters, and lots and lots of explosions!!! Don’t miss The Great Battle of Pumpkinia, coming soon! unched and blown up by turrets. Melonir and Froemel used their swords to slash and vaporise Nazis. Nothing seemed to harm them. They charged forward, killing everything in their path. Soon, Nazis swayed and dodged out of their way as they approached, rolling towards Fort Anschluss. Melonir became a blazing ball of fire rolling down a dry field, burning and running over Nazis on his way towards the Fort. Froemel transformed into a tempest tornado, sucking in Nazis and throwing them miles off into the distance and zapping them with lightning. Soon, they reached the entrance of the fort and smashed through, killing Nazis and Poozers on their way in. More Lollandian troops charged in, trampling things and destroying everything. The base was completely destroyed in minutes, and then you could not see a single Nazi for thousands of miles. Cloud valley, Melonia 14:15, March 18, 1998 Days after the end of the battle of Cloud peak, Melonsy called for a feast and a funeral. At the feast, Melonir sat to Melonsy’s right and Froemel sat to his left. The feast was held in a splendid giant hall in the parliament. Everyone was talking about their successes and adventures. They talked of old times, politics, economics, and of course, slaughtering Nazis. Melonir talked to people about all of his strange adventures and Froemel talked to them about his time in the Nazi prison, which scared the living hell out of everyone except for Melonir and himself. After that, they all gathered for the funeral for all who fought and died bravely against the Nazis. The living still outnumbered the dead though, and after the long funeral, most people returned to their normal lives as many of those who fought were volunteers (such as Melonir), but other troops were transferred to the battle of Pumpkilore which had grown so large, that it was know as the great battle of Pumpkinia. Melonir was sent to fight and destroy Nazis, while Fromel was sent to guide and recruit zen melons in Pumpkinia. Little did either of them know, that they would eventually meet a pumpkin that would be a key tool in winning the great battle; Pumpy Pipeil. End of book 1 PSST… HEY PEOPLE!! Here’s a quick sneak peek of the Book 2: